Intimacy: Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now...

By Anonymous - 04/02/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 962

You deserved it 7 423

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/11/2009 20:34 - Canada

Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 107

You deserved it 9 649

By xXfloatingshitlogXx - 03/11/2012 16:04 - Norway - Jessheim

Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 162

You deserved it 2 170

By Order of the Dangling Testicles - 28/01/2014 20:28 - United States - Astoria

Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 100

You deserved it 4 330

Boundaries, dude!

By Anonymous - 14/09/2019 06:01

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 478

You deserved it 233

We're all in hell

By Looking4AnApartment - 16/02/2021 15:30 - United States - Bellmore

Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 143

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my boyfriend moved. He moved from my room... to my housemate's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 667

You deserved it 3 608

By BreakingTheMood - 13/11/2013 18:08 - Finland - Vanda

Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 944

You deserved it 4 470

By CooBerry3851 - 28/08/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 703

You deserved it 3 243

By Anonymous - 20/10/2010 07:00 - United States

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 348

You deserved it 3 520

By yourstruly - 11/02/2010 19:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 694

You deserved it 2 352

Mallorydomio 0

Friday 4 February 2011 12:09

Hahaha fatties need love too

realsdmf 4

Friday 4 February 2011 12:12

Fatty sex is the best sex. Also, they were currently having more sexy time than you.

Comments

LittleMonsterSam 5

Friday 4 February 2011 13:33

maybe they'll have a kid thats 400 lbs too

docscientist 9

Saturday 5 February 2011 13:01

I'm...not sure..that's how it works...

buckie123 3

Friday 4 February 2011 13:36

woohoo! I'm happy the fatties are getting some. I suggest you get out of the flat or something...

disney_blonde 16

Friday 4 February 2011 13:38

I didn't even think it was possible to find the right parts through all that padding... He probably missed and hit a sweaty fat roll instead...

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 4 February 2011 15:52

Interesting... Is sex without insertion still sex, or is it just foreplay?

Subtext 10

Friday 4 February 2011 16:00

It is not so difficult. The guy just has to put flour on the woman and then you can easily see the wet spot... Also you can turn the girl around, slap her on the ass and try to get inside with the third ripple

Doortje 29

Friday 4 February 2011 16:23

Subtext, your first paragraph was disgustingly awesome.

Robotata 6

Friday 4 February 2011 13:41

Roommate (probably guy) brought home a 400 pound guy... ?

Primus_fml 0

Friday 4 February 2011 13:52

Why would you assume that?

Robotata 6

Friday 4 February 2011 14:00

Because op is a man, so his roommate must be a man too.

underguarded 20

Friday 4 February 2011 13:43

Well they got more folds to play with. The battles gonna last a little longer.

motero 0

Friday 4 February 2011 13:47

800 pounds of meat rolling around in there. probably sounds like 2 walruses flopping each other

oliviabivia 0

Friday 4 February 2011 13:55

rofl lmfao!!!

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 4 February 2011 15:55

Laughing my FAT ass off?

rummydummy 3

Friday 4 February 2011 13:56

excuse me sir please step on this weighing scales before fornicating with my co-inhabitor... My lord you both weigh the exact same how extraordinary

LADYGAGAGOOGA 0

Friday 4 February 2011 17:56

How Marvelous

rlseafor 0

Friday 4 February 2011 14:01

at that size the man probably can't tell the difference between a fat roll and the actual ******. probably feels the exact same. or I would have to assume so at least.