Kids: Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit...

By anonymous - 28/07/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 431

You deserved it 16 955

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Same thing different taste

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 556

You deserved it 3 440

By Noname - 04/12/2008 04:39 - France

Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 078

You deserved it 9 216

By applesmama - 17/09/2011 04:36 - United States

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 472

You deserved it 4 683

By Anonymous - 18/04/2014 22:35 - Canada - Concord

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 375

You deserved it 4 858

Charming...

By Anonymous - 01/06/2018 15:00

Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 364

You deserved it 403

Child's play

By Misbah Akhtar - 21/11/2020 12:59 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 356

By Anonymous - 15/10/2010 00:25 - United States

Today, as I put my 4 year-old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 112

You deserved it 9 196

By NooOOooOO - 11/10/2017 23:15

Today, I learned how artistically talented my daughter is. Unfortunately, her favorite medium to work in is poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 029

You deserved it 325

Splosh

By WhosGoingToCleanThisUp - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter taught me the literal meaning of "When the shit hits the fan." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 051

You deserved it 1 827

By mom - 26/01/2014 04:29 - United States - Spring

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 931

You deserved it 10 131

MCVelvet1497 3

Thursday 28 July 2011 12:01

Oh, shit balls.

fricknugget 3

Thursday 28 July 2011 12:01

LMFAO it might be me my new one too!!:P

Comments

TheRealSIDeal 1

Friday 29 July 2011 2:18

oh noooo

Smiley_sie 0

Friday 29 July 2011 2:58

that's funny as shit!:)

mahomie4lyfe 0

Friday 29 July 2011 3:51

haha thats my favorite expression too!!

alyssa41192 2

Friday 29 July 2011 4:13

hahaha I always say that I be like what the shit balls or what the shit balls r u doing

Carlie_McCartney 1

Friday 29 July 2011 4:22

Annoying as this is, I totally just realised OP is from New Jersey. DUH! That explains it!! xD

katies94 0

Friday 29 July 2011 4:25

freaking amazing! always say that!!

cupcake112397 0

Friday 29 July 2011 4:30

she can be my new best friend :)

MackS89 0

Friday 29 July 2011 4:52

Well I can tell you that she probably learned it from Kathy Griffin!! I love Kathy Griffin, she is amazing and SUPER funny!! Go gays!!

war_turtle810 5

Friday 29 July 2011 5:30

well you should be happy, the very next day she could start saying nicely-shaven balls or waxed balls :3

GryffinDarkBreed 3

Friday 29 July 2011 5:49

soap, not just for washing hands.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 877

You deserved it 5 658

Today, I handed in my resignation letter after over three and a half years working at the company. My manager is angry with me, since we returned from an overseas business trip yesterday, and why didn't I inform her before the trip. She now wants me to pay all costs of trip before leaving the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 016

You deserved it 1 217

The Top

Today, I had a very good-looking guy ask for my number while I was at work, but due to our policies I had to turn him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 346

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 647

You deserved it 2 614

Today, I learned Google Assistant and Google Home work harmoniously together if I blabber on without ending a command, like when sending a text to my mom about canceling dinner plans because I’m fake sick and going to hook up with this guy, it’ll send every word. My mistake & lesson learned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 2 170

Today, I got home to my son holding his brother down with one foot on his chest and both hands on a pair of pliers, trying to pull out his infected tooth, looking like some sort of redneck, hillbilly comedy sketch. I half expected to hear sound effects in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 188

Today, after getting my appendix taken out, we had to drive over five sets of railroad tracks. Then, my four year-old brother decided to punch me in the stomach because, "I took away his mommy for two days." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 084

You deserved it 3 329

Today, I had to take my parents to the hospital after a failed attempt at a Kamasutra position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 59

Same thing different taste

Charming...

Child's play

Splosh

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