Money: Today, in the current company I'm employed by, I have a better... - FML

By ferret702 - 05/02/2016 12:04 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, in the current company I'm employed by, I have a better chance at gambling my way to the top, as opposed to working my way up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 144

You deserved it 1 810

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By RePete - 04/11/2016 01:44

Today, thanks to downsizing and corporate restructuring, I was "promoted" to the entry level position I had 10 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 368

You deserved it 667

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 12:42 - United States - Clifton Park

Today, I was forced into accepting a "promotion" for a position that pays less than what I get right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 225

You deserved it 3 087

By Anonymous - 25/08/2015 05:51 - United States - Waco

Today, after putting in 110% at my shitty job for two years straight, my boss told me point-blank I'm too good in my current position for him to ever be able to justify promoting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 049

You deserved it 1 652

Thanks, I guess…

By smyp - 27/05/2015 22:27 - Lithuania - Vilnius

Today, I was let go from my job, because I'm "progressing too quickly and there's no promotions available" and I "can find a better place to work at." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 782

You deserved it 2 284

By anon_smh - 18/02/2016 04:37 - United States - Bozeman

Today, after interviewing for a promotion to a position that was created with me in mind, I eagerly accepted a call from my boss, expecting good news. Turns out, they found a better applicant, who they don't believe will need support from the position I currently hold, so it's being eliminated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 537

You deserved it 1 408

The Dilbert Principle

By Anonymous - 14/06/2017 16:00

Today, my boss called me into his office. I've been working hard doing extra work so I can get promoted. He called me in to tell me I'm to reliable in my current position, so I won't be moving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 340

You deserved it 327

By David - 02/09/2016 06:01 - United States - London

Today, my boss found out I had applied for a much better paying job. He told me I'd do a better job and make more money there. Then he fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 651

You deserved it 2 329

Too good

By hard work doesn't work - 13/03/2015 06:21 - United States - Irving

Today, I found out that the reason I didn't get the job that I have been working my butt off for over a year for is because they can't find anybody who can do my current job as good as me. I'm too good to be promoted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 411

You deserved it 3 020

Seize the means of production

By vikts - 29/05/2012 17:52 - Luxembourg - Olm

Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 337

You deserved it 1 952

By Anonymous - 01/01/2009 18:21 - France

Today, my boss got a promotion and I got laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 938

You deserved it 2 212

Next

Top comments

Welshite 39

Friday 5 February 2016 20:24

You'd better start learning how to count cards.

haileyrows 26

Friday 5 February 2016 20:26

Or you could take the third option and sleep your way to the top.

Comments

isnobodyhere 32

Friday 5 February 2016 20:36

That sucks, the job world is never fair

Railroader 16

Friday 5 February 2016 20:47

That's more or less any company you work for these days

Goblin182 26

Friday 5 February 2016 20:53

Welcome to the real world. Glad you finally made it.

TheNewGuy03 28

Friday 5 February 2016 20:53

Sometimes, you gotta play the hand you're dealt.

ThrottleJockey 35

Friday 5 February 2016 20:53

Remember, it's not what you know but who you blow that gets you places.

Alucard205 13

Friday 5 February 2016 20:58

Well isn't that lucky

WAKingUP91 11

Friday 5 February 2016 21:26

at least your promotions don't rely on whether or not people are dying. ?

revolvearoundme 15

Friday 5 February 2016 23:08

I got all kinds of promotions from the mass shooting at my old job. I got a couple years worth of promotions in about 2 months. Sucks a bunch of good people died and a bunch of bad people lived but the world keeps turning and the jobs need to get done.

Mynamewontfi 40

Saturday 6 February 2016 3:21

This went pretty dark quickly. One man's death is another man's bread

Brandi_Faith 33

Saturday 6 February 2016 7:36

I think 18 was trying to say that there are a lot of jobs where the turnover rate is next to none and in order to get a promotion you basically have to wait for someone to die. It was basically this way for my brother. He was working at FedEx as a part time driver and was waiting for months for a full time position to pop up. But the people that work there often work there for life and there's next to no turnover rate for those positions. He waited months for a position that never came so he ended up having to quit and find another job.

914smv 18

Friday 5 February 2016 21:32

haha well good luck with that!!

moocowmilk0 19

Friday 5 February 2016 23:53

needs more explanation pls

cheetoaf 6

Saturday 6 February 2016 2:22

Gamble Away!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 787

You deserved it 3 097

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 603

You deserved it 5 177

The Top

Today, I was working at a portrait studio and was taking pictures of a little girl, I kept telling the girl to stop making silly faces when she smiles because her eyes go cross-eyed. After the third time I said it her mom grabbed the little girl and left. Turns out, she was naturally cross-eyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 533

You deserved it 58 231

Today, I learned that the word "cancer" is so misused on social media platforms as a swear word, it's difficult to place a comment explaining that I have cancer without getting an automated response like, "Comment under moderation" or "Comment under review." FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 73

Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year old boy, and an 19 month old girl. I was chasing them around the house having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change the 3 year old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 141

You deserved it 11 241

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 779

You deserved it 19 226

Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 833

You deserved it 5 806

Today, I just got done watching my cousin's two kids for four days while they were on vacation. I fed, clothed, and bathed them for four days of hell and got paid with a $5 shark tooth necklace from the Bahamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 992

You deserved it 5 351