Miscellaneous: Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush...

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 758

You deserved it 73 886

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Same thing different taste

By PleaseDontHateMe - 20/09/2016 16:42 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 294

You deserved it 5 011

By Anonymous - 01/01/2013 10:30 - United States - Wichita

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 912

You deserved it 15 152

Pissed

By Anonymous - 14/12/2021 05:01

Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 1 395

Show off

By badluck_jean - 17/01/2015 13:54 - France

Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 752

You deserved it 11 114

By permanently scarred - 25/08/2018 15:00

Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 932

You deserved it 256

Show off

By a stupid jackass - 22/06/2012 01:28 - United States - New York

Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 937

You deserved it 37 544

By Ryan746 - 09/06/2009 05:45 - United States

Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 680

You deserved it 47 013

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 679

You deserved it 25 635

By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 120

You deserved it 15 177

By Anon - 30/01/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 333

You deserved it 7 438

Wheredidgrungego 12

Sunday 13 March 2011 23:55

Yeah because all any girl wants is a guy who can crush things with his head. Idiot.

samadams42 0

Sunday 13 March 2011 23:56

They should've drawn pussy on your forhead.

Comments

sk8erd 15

Monday 14 March 2011 0:13

this is pretty funny I'd say. Especially the part where you were trying to impress a chick. just wait till you get out of 5th grade and you'll learn

chillamastr92 0

Monday 14 March 2011 0:13

I'm a guy, and even I know girls don't find that attractive.

kingtz 6

Monday 14 March 2011 1:52

Exactly what I was going to say!

nerdsgetmehot 22

Monday 14 March 2011 0:23

Oh yes, tricks like that just make me swoon. Oh baby, baby.

KVKdragon 26

Monday 14 March 2011 0:25

lol ^<>^

Wirebiter 0

Monday 14 March 2011 3:19

So.. so it's true!! I KNEW IT!!

fayola 2

Monday 14 March 2011 0:24

I clicked YDI after "trying to impress a girl" before I even read the rest of it, because that never turns out well.

sophiedophiee 3

Monday 14 March 2011 8:49

haha

timtamslam 19

Monday 14 March 2011 0:25

YDI! trying to show off isn't going to impress any girl. impress her with your personality instead maybe?

MyApocalypse 1

Monday 14 March 2011 0:27

The equivilent to this is bragging about what size shoe you are. Hmm, impressive.

bachooka 5

Monday 14 March 2011 1:16

you know what they say about big feet... BIG SOCKS!!!

fthku 13

Monday 14 March 2011 0:30

Yeah I tried to do that once. Thankfully, my kindergarten teacher stopped me.

iliketotumble 0

Monday 14 March 2011 1:54

^win(:

alissa_roar 6

Monday 14 March 2011 0:38

You really should test out these things before attempting them in public..

therealsuperman 0

Monday 14 March 2011 0:38

it's better than having a face drawn on your penis

Rachel5913 0

Monday 14 March 2011 0:40

Hahaha YDI! Why would you think a girl would be impressed by that? lol. Maybe next time try flirting a little;)

Keywords

Gamers Love Video games Gross Weird Health First Dates Smells Parents Technology Annoying Kids Jealousy Dogs Animals Pranks AITA Dreams Family Geek Relatable Gun control Money Amazon Birthday Cute Awkward Abuse Social Media Scams

The Top

Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 367

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 168

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a little "fun" in our secluded backyard. It was only after we had finished that we noticed the three little girls, who live next door, jumping up and down on their trampoline, with their mouths wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 230

You deserved it 26 978

Today, my dad took me to the 'Super Butcher'. It's basically a warehouse turned into a giant, walk-in meat freezer, complete with headless pig carcasses. I'm a vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 467

You deserved it 12 521

Today, my friend used my phone to tag some of my overweight Facebook friends in a weight-loss video, along with the comment "Here's some motivation, fatasses!" I was able to delete the post, but not before I got a bunch of angry messages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 732

You deserved it 2 606

Today, I found a piece of rice in my belly button. I can't remember the last time I ate or handled rice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 513

You deserved it 37 096

Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 183

You deserved it 20 462

Today, my grandma told me she likes to clean the house naked every day. I'm staying there all next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 580

You deserved it 149

Same thing different taste

Pissed

Show off

Show off

Romantic move

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