Money: Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to...

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 648

You deserved it 9 034

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/01/2014 17:47 - United States - New Milford

Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 087

You deserved it 9 507

Assumptions

By adriana - 01/09/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills. She said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 336

You deserved it 4 586

Drunken antics

By qx5 - 08/01/2011 22:05 - Canada

Today, I put my paycheck in my wallet, intending to cash it in the next day. Later on, I met up with a friend and went to a party. I ended up getting so drunk, I gave away my $400 check in exchange for a pack of smokes, thinking it was a $5 bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 522

You deserved it 58 077

Everything is clean

By Anonymous - 17/01/2020 18:00

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 753

You deserved it 235

By bakedplum - 01/11/2011 17:52 - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 799

You deserved it 23 815

Scratch cards

By Just my luck - 15/02/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I was gambling on pull tabs. My friend, never much of a gambler, asked to take one. I was confused but gave one to him anyway. I got precisely $0 from them. The tab I gave to my friend was a winner. How much was it worth, you ask? Six hundred dollars. I'm very happy for him, but… seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 336

By Anonymous - 15/10/2013 00:14 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my friend texted me from a bar, saying they had just called my name in a raffle to win a trip to Aspen, CO. You had to be at the bar to claim the prize. I had left the bar half-an-hour earlier, not knowing they were even having a raffle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 677

You deserved it 4 434

By bluntedone - 03/02/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 035

You deserved it 52 141

By greenhide8 - 28/05/2011 05:27 - United States

Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 007

You deserved it 46 100

By joedoe - 18/07/2009 06:03 - United States

Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 Monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 924

You deserved it 51 580

pwnrzero 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 20:12

you got the 200 dollars and most money goes through much grosser stuff anyway, without you knowing deal with it, and take it like a a mature human being! [i couldn't say man because i didnt know if you are a man]

untoldfame 3

Saturday 30 May 2009 20:35

so, you go to a strip club, looking at the strippers, giving them money, but when they try giving you money you think its gross? maybe you should give it to them in envolopes next time :)

Comments

teehee520 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 21:21

Well, /did/ you choose wisely?

drinkupgorgeous 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 21:26

LMFAO #28.

eeee93757 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 21:27

Only a true jackass would find a way to complain about winning 200 bucks

modestmango 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 21:38

Yeah, the exact same concept as that chain text being spread around by 12 year olds. Nice try though.

Iambrown 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 21:45

was he saying choose wisely because its better to have the asscrack bills or the ones that werent? some people are into that.

jessxoxo28 5

Saturday 30 May 2009 21:55

ok, thats disgusting

kingbeau 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 21:56

So you go to a strip club... Probably stick a few bills in certain places yourself... Maybe even get a lap dance... They give you 200$... And you're upset that the money has touched strippers? How did this make it through moderation...? Even without considering that the details don't really work...