Intimacy: Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding....

By Anonymous - 30/03/2011 18:26 - Canada

Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 561

You deserved it 8 310

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Same thing different taste

By Indianagirl94 - 29/10/2012 22:22 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 682

You deserved it 3 376

By possiblyoverweight - 08/11/2011 14:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 888

You deserved it 4 388

Bittie

By Anonymous - 18/09/2020 14:02 - Hungary - Sopron

Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 803

You deserved it 168

By Nasty - 25/04/2016 16:59 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip of me as an infant attempting to breast feed from my father while he laughed uncontrollably. Now, my son keeps sneaking his baby brother's head under my shirt while I'm asleep. The last time he actually began to suckle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 971

You deserved it 1 366

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 676

You deserved it 2 370

By Anonymous - 20/10/2012 08:42 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 930

You deserved it 3 326

Mommy milkers

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 05:17 - Malaysia

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 137

You deserved it 4 255

Baby fever

By SkeetinKeaton - 06/05/2013 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 390

You deserved it 6 561

By Anonymous - 02/11/2010 16:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 721

You deserved it 37 347

By notyourmummy - 12/11/2015 09:09 - United Kingdom - Ryde

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 925

You deserved it 3 364

VVeetard 8

Thursday 31 March 2011 0:15

milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...

victoriaax3 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 0:15

Atleast it wasn't a hobo .

Comments

MatthewDmerrill 5

Thursday 31 March 2011 0:30

I never got it either

wowzersselainee 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 1:53

so learn from what her boyfriend did... and don't commit to the same mistake hun

jdengel 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 0:32

at least he is doing it to you and not someone else

chantellakemi 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 0:32

time to ween him off the nipple and transfer to the bottle ... or find a bf who is regressing .

HumboldtLeaky 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 1:09

snorts

xXDubbleChic 11

Thursday 31 March 2011 0:41

my boyfriends ex wanted him to do that. lol crazy people

Happygofucky 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 0:43

Hi babe ur hotttttttt a/s/l?????

kriztin 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 0:48

that's strange

MyScrewedUpLifeS 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 0:52

yummy in my tummy! tasty and delicious! yay 4 BOOB MILK!

Emili_ho69 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 0:56

sounds like he's gonna have momma issues....

babygirlchan123 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 0:58

sexy much? milk fight!!!!!

Gladus_likes_cak 6

Thursday 31 March 2011 1:00

does any one understand you?

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend was cooking dinner. To my horror, she took the chicken out and immediately began scrubbing it with dish soap. When I asked what the hell she was doing, she stared at me like I was insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 109

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 242

You deserved it 37 869

The Top

Today, I woke 2 hours before my alarm was supposed to go off, feeling incredibly sick. I then ran downstairs and had diarrhea while I threw up. I spent Valentine's Day having diarrhea every time I coughed or sneezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 897

You deserved it 2 952

Today, I proposed to my boyfriend of 13 years. He broke up with me because "Chicks can't propose, that's gay!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 403

You deserved it 722

Today, I'm celebrating New Year's with my cat. I made her a cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 267

You deserved it 6 879

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 342

You deserved it 10 351

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I got to the frozen foods, I saw some Lean Pockets, which I haven't had in forever, so I bought a couple of boxes. Around lunch time, I was hungry and thought I could have some, until I realized why I stopped buying them: I don't have a microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 205

You deserved it 40 984

Today, I fainted in the bathtub. My family broke the door to save me, which is great, but they all saw me naked, which is not so great. My siblings laughed at the size of my penis, my father laughed at the situation, and my mom just cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 306

You deserved it 412

Same thing different taste

Bittie

Mommy milkers

Baby fever

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