Intimacy: Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath... - FML

By lonelyguy321 - 27/07/2010 14:43 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 260

You deserved it 16 587

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Same thing different taste

Morning motivation

By thermos - 03/02/2009 23:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 182

You deserved it 53 393

By Jonathan - 13/10/2008 08:27

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 405

You deserved it 19 716

By Anonymous - 08/08/2009 11:49 - United States

Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 874

You deserved it 64 805

By Ned - 29/08/2009 23:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 502

You deserved it 3 881

By VacationTSA - 19/02/2009 16:29 - United States

Today, I woke up in a girls bed, that I have had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 834

You deserved it 4 206

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 25/06/2021 23:02 - United States - Schertz

Today, I had a sleepover with two of my friends. We only had one bed, and it ended up with me against the wall. I then remembered that I'm very claustrophobic, and can't sleep. It's 4 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 234

By Dirty_Mind_69 - 20/07/2013 08:35 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 209

You deserved it 9 927

By Anonymous - 07/06/2012 17:41 - United States - Oregon City

Spicy

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 172

You deserved it 6 711

By killmyself - 23/01/2009 19:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 358

You deserved it 47 176

The wrong kind of banging

By BRELLA - 03/02/2009 19:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 093

You deserved it 3 948

Next

Top comments

SyraSid5 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 19:08

why were they there?

NeonRisk 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 19:08

*face palm*

Comments

jon7688 7

Tuesday 27 July 2010 19:51

you sould probably grow a pair

PincheEdgarr 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 19:51

lmao awh lame!

manda980 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 19:51

haha 53 that's good...and maybe the op was embarrased by his small dick:P

mrmaks18 7

Tuesday 27 July 2010 19:52

manup and get in there order some drinks if you have to?

perdix 29

Tuesday 27 July 2010 19:54

You should have started wanking loudly (it can be very squeaky if you don't oil up your hand) and hoped at least one of them would finish you off. Otherwise, let the stream of baby batter fly over the edge so they can start singing, "It's Raining Man-goo."

Ricky23J 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 19:57

you shoulda started makin wierd noises, n say that yur streching...n getthem in the mood. 4-some my nigga.

igloo777 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 20:00

Sir I'd like to congratulate you on failing so greatly

redblack59 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 20:02

dude what are you ******* gay? a real man would've been down there before posting some bitch ass complaint on fml. really i mean just grow a pair and get your ****** ass down there!!

imright24 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 20:04

If you didn't act on it, or at least try, YDI. Now go check your nads. I think they're missing.

jennabliss 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 20:04

I'm still tryin to figure out why they're in bunks but whatever. Anyway, OP, you're freakin stupid for not at least letting them know you're there. Maye you're shy or somethin, but geeze.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, no matter how well we tried to raise out daughter, things aren't looking too bright. I was present, I listened, and she told me her problems. My husband was always there for her too, no matter what. She works and studies but her role models consist of celebrities and girls who sell themselves on OnlyFans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 178

Today, I learned that the cancer patient in a foreign country I sent money too from an ad on TikTok was a deepfake AI used by scammers. I thought I'd actually helped someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 869

The Top

Today, I wanted to show my teenage daughter what we did when I was her age. We used to breakdance, so I stuck on a Grandmaster Flash track, and tried some old moves on the living room floor. I spun out of control, smacked my head into a wall and pulled a back muscle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 331

You deserved it 41 193

Today, I came home from a four-day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she's been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 332

You deserved it 5 150

Today, my mom was named principal of the school I go to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 775

You deserved it 229

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 217

You deserved it 5 855

Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 734

You deserved it 44 790

Today, I almost got upgraded to business class because the gentleman at the check-in was so mortified at having called me "sir" instead of "mam." However, before it could go through, his colleague stopped him, telling me that it was "an easy mistake to make." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 230

You deserved it 639