Love: Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting...

By Anonymous - 19/07/2009 12:44 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone, then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it said, "I'm here for the quicky." Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 239

You deserved it 4 980

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 03/02/2011 18:27 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy, who decided to rudely text message his friend the whole time. When I got home, I realized he'd been texting the girl he was going to hookup with after our date; she happens to be my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 254

You deserved it 3 743

By zevil - 18/11/2008 16:54 - Peru

Today, I had a date with a girl. Wanting to make a good impression, I spend a lot of time getting ready and by the time I get to the place we were supposed to meet she isn't there anymore. I call her to see where she is. She's in bed with another guy and says "I was REALLY waiting for you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 782

You deserved it 9 732

By tacoboy - 21/08/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 185

You deserved it 6 580

Mixed signals

By fuck - 18/04/2015 14:38 - United States - Saint Thomas

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said, "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 562

You deserved it 35 058

By Anonymous - 01/09/2009 15:09 - United States

Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 576

You deserved it 69 594

By crawfo - 31/08/2009 13:54 - Australia

Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 323

You deserved it 12 065

By Anonomous - 08/12/2014 17:58 - Canada - Whitby

Today, I went on a date with a girl who had to cut our date short so she could go on another one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 895

You deserved it 3 891

Switcheroo

By Saberwolf - 13/02/2011 21:14 - United States

Today, I got a text from a girl that I've had a crush on for a long time, asking me out to dinner. I agreed and went to the restaurant. Not long afterwards, I got text from her saying something had come up, so she couldn't make it. As I was walking back to my car, I saw her walk into the same restaurant with another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 929

You deserved it 3 111

By Anonymous - 19/07/2015 04:36 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 226

You deserved it 5 013

By lawl - 07/05/2011 13:25 - Canada

Today, my date asked if I could drive his friend home before we went out for breakfast. His friend had blonde hair, big boobs and wore a skimpy black dress. He wasn't 100% sure of her name. I guess I drove home my date's one night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 406

You deserved it 12 115

palmtrees 1

Sunday 19 July 2009 16:08

please tell me you left her there.

premiermois 5

Sunday 19 July 2009 16:16

Why the FML? You have blackmail. And you should have called her mother right then and there.

Comments

solipsistic 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 19:56

Pfft. She deserves it.

I_am_stupid_also 6

Sunday 19 July 2009 19:57

Send messages to all her other contacts inviting them to join her for a quickie at that address.

dyingstart 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 20:30

Yes! I think ALL other contacts should receive that message, including family members.

amaneylandx3 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 20:00

I sincerely hope you left her there... You shouldve sent her a clever text like "hope your having fun... wonder how your mom will take it....?" lmfao

S01iDuS 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 20:33

lol! awesome! damnit i wish u could bump FMLs like this one, the new ones suck.

monkeypoo 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 20:03

Unlock all the doors, roll down the windows, piss in the car, steal the tires, and drop the keys in the drain. Fucken ******

akiro525 3

Sunday 19 July 2009 20:08

simple, forward it to her mother.

SookMauNoots 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 20:36

take her ****** car. or tell her mom

cxal_fml 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 20:44

Maybe she meant quiche

MakeMeMoo 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 21:02

That made me literally lol, hahaha

john_bell 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 20:50

Piss all over the driver's seat with the keys in it, so they'll either have to walk home or drive covered in piss. Empty her glove compartment and spread the contents in the car, change all the seat's, move them back etc, and any other thing you can do to be annoying. Finally when you're done just leave all the doors, boot and hood open. And for funsies you could always put her phone down your pants before you go.