By NYM88 - 17/12/2015 18:34 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I was sucking on a candy and I began choking. A coworker rushed over to give me the Heimlich maneuver. That freed the candy from my throat, and also the shit from my bowels. FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 496
You deserved it 2 361

NYM88 tells us more.

OP here. Firstly for those who automatically assumed my coworker was a male, you've made an ass out of you and supposedly me too. Secondly for those saying that they shouldn't have done the Heimlich maneuver and should have hit me on the back.. You've again made assumptions based on a lack of information. Unfortunately you are limited to the amount of characters your FML can be composed of so I had to leave out details. My coworker she first asked me if I could breathe, when I shook my head no, she gave a few thrusts with her palm to my back between the shoulder blades and when that failed to dislodge the candy she told me she was going to perform the Heimlich maneuver and I nodded and when she did she got it out in the first try thankfully and my ribs I think are still a bit tender from, I'd guess, bruising. And to those that said thankfully I'm alive.. Thanks, I am glad I am too even though cleaning up wasn't something I was glad about!

Comments

Hurray I'm alive!! And what is so squishy in my underwear?!?!?

andrmac 25

Well it's the squishy bit that tells you you're alive.

Better to be judged by 12 than be carried by 6

Embarrassing as this is, it is a somewhat common issue that results from the pressure being exerted, so don't feel too bad.

Im so glad that didnt happen to me when i had the hemlich. To be fair i was like 8, and every kid in my class was angry with me because they threw away the candies. I would have quit school if i shit my pants too lol.

Are you speaking from experience #17? ;)

Luckily enough, I've never choked to the degree I've needed outside assistance. I was forced through four separate, mandatory first aid classes between school and being raised by a nurse/paramedic/EMT, and also having been in a middle school class with someone who received it. Worst part about that last experience being that the teacher tried to make him stay in class until she caught wind of the issue. Needless to say, the experience was rather memorable as a result.

catwomam 15

I guess he literally squeezed the shit out of you…

gobiteme2 34

My colon perhaps, but not my pants! ?

FalloutScrolls 25

Yes, I did. And now I am a ghost who's stuck haunting FML.

Well even if you choked to death, the same would've happened.

Well, at least now you know who to call next time you're constipated.