Intimacy: Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus...

By dickface - 28/03/2011 20:13 - Canada

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 772

You deserved it 30 041

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/01/2017 10:04 - United States - Newtown

Today, my crush fell asleep on me on the bus. This would have been fantastic if I didn't immediately have an erection in her ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 117

You deserved it 1 361

By pandora - 13/06/2012 09:08 - Israel - Palmahim

Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 543

You deserved it 5 081

By marlow - 15/01/2009 02:25 - Canada

Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 857

You deserved it 2 712

By comfylap - 28/05/2010 23:30 - United States

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a cute girl I didn't know. She fell asleep on my lap by accident and I just let her for the whole train ride. This is the closest I've ever been with a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 813

You deserved it 6 439

By Anonymous - 04/04/2013 18:04 - Portugal - Sintra

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 026

You deserved it 7 287

By Chris - 22/10/2009 04:57 - Canada

Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 412

You deserved it 4 871

By nevergoingonabusagain - 30/05/2009 06:52 - Canada

Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 253

You deserved it 5 707

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 07:49 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my shoulder as she walked past. This only made me realize that this has been the closest I've come to touching a girls ass in over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 529

You deserved it 6 244

By meteorbabe0101 - 14/04/2009 02:11 - United States

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799 645

You deserved it 65 792

By gringa_Peru - 18/04/2009 01:19 - Peru

Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170 176

You deserved it 9 854

gogokira 5

Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:58

gross bro

mintcar 9

Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:59

Wow...how'd you explain that one?

Comments

CaptainPickles72 18

Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:16

Really, we can't control where our blood flows.

country868 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:17

Wow just wow!

taternuts 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:18

that must have been really hard for you

mcintosh123 15

Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:23

Haha nice one yeah I think it was HARD for him

tona01 16

Tuesday 29 March 2011 3:10

well aren't you a little sherlock holmes

olivia_r 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:34

These puns are getting a little old...

foost 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:20

haha great one

dubbiedoo 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:21

like a boss!

akichan15 5

Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:23

lol win.

tophatprincess 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:23

XD Win!

creedaddict 9

Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:24

tease lol

Auby09 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:24

I can't help it

howslife123 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:26

you're supposed to gently grab the sides of her head and turn her face downwards so her mouth...

Keywords

Awkward Love Embarrassing Public freakouts Family Weddings AITA Bodyshaming Cops Transportation Cars Kids Sexism Work Relatable Mental health Growing old Health Animals Cats Periods Job interview Education Social Media Stalker Instagram Phobias Spiders Ironic Bikes

The Top

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 228

You deserved it 6 619

Today, as I was translating for a patient to get an MRI, the tech asked if I had metal in my body. In front of the patient, I had to disclose that my nipples were pierced, so I couldn’t accompany the patient bedside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 381

The Top

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 987

You deserved it 4 468

Today, my mother-in-law said I was manipulative, awful, mean, incapable of love, and the reason for my husband's depression. All because I got him to agree to inpatient psychiatric care after he expressed suicidal thoughts that included our children. She says it's ridiculous and he's fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 89

Today, after staying up late all week to get work done, I arrived at my job having accomplished all my goals. In my sleep-deprived stupor, I completely forgot to bring the briefcase that had all of the evidence of that hard work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 426

You deserved it 2 667

Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 455

You deserved it 7 536

Today, I stayed the night at a friend's house for the first time. I went to get water from the kitchen when I saw a cat staring at me. I looked back and it ran off. I told my friend about it. He doesn’t have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 591

You deserved it 230

Today, after months of using the empty driveway across the street from my house, a note was placed under my windshield wiper. It read, "Please stop parking in my driveway. P.S. You’re hot. Are you single?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 930

You deserved it 39 404

Same thing different taste

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