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No, THIS is what is wrong for America. Everyone believing you need to follow every tradition set in place exactly as everyone thinks it should be. Get married then have kids, never the reverse. Marriage is just as susceptible to problems as is being boyfriend and girlfriend. Maybe they're completely happy being just "bf/gf." Is it really going to kill you if a couple doesn't get married? Please retrieve the wedding rings from your asses because even if you DO get married I don't be

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32, because he may not come back for one. Secondly being in love and wanting a child together and him deploying aren't mutual events. Three, how do you know how long they have been trying? It could have been a year or more, but only now has it worked. Finally, he could have got notified of his deployment after they started trying to procreate, or after she found out she was with child. There are 4 good reasons for you.

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ElementTruth, I'm going to have to break it to you: "without" is spelled without a space in the middle. Don't act like an uppity schmuck.

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DocBastard I hate to break it to you but... I love you and everything you do for the FML community. You're my idol.

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'I'm with stupid' haha totally fits. thanks for that. ydi op. should not have been trying to have kids with an army dude

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You're a jackass #146. Did you not read the previous comments? What are you supposed to do if your spouse/partner is in the military? Yank out your ovaries and cut off your balls? I'm proud of the OP for having a baby with someone actually doing something to benefit our country. What have you done?

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#159, you're an idiot and the real jackass. first of all, the above comments were dumb and neglected the basic point that the op knew the possible consequences so they don't really get to complain. and second of all, soldiers actually do very little for the country nowadays, and at the most, no more so than anyone else who performs a job in the US

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Well seeing as crazy Gaddafi was about to have a sale on bombing civilian airliners, it is actually doing something for all nations. There is also the risk that the rebels would turn against America for not intervening, they would then launch a campaign to pay back America. Feel free to think of threats to your country that aren't threats of direct invasion. Out of interest though, do you not think what is being done is a good thing? Do these people not deserve freedom, democracy and being rid

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No I don't think we have any right to be over there interfering. This is going to turn into another Iraq. You notice how we didn't do shit for Egypt, because Mubarak was an ally, even though he was morally bankrupt. We don't like Gaddafi so it's perfectly okay to take him out.

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we didn't help Egypt because the government wasn't killing their people like crazy like ghadafi and second of all, the Egyptian people were more successful in getting rid of their dictator so they didn't need international intervention.

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Dude!! Are you a fucking idiot?! Why would you say such a thing?? A) He's getting deployed and probably doesn't know how long he'll be gone for and B) She pregnant and already going to be alone. She doesn't need assholes like you putting thoughts of her boyfriend dying!

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75, read her comment after. It clearly states it was in response to a deleted comment saying he will die. Before counseling others on not going off on a rant about a misunderstood comment, read the comment yourself.

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neither, just confused as to how leaving the child without a father to fight in an unnecessary war is looking out for its future. it's confusing isn't it?

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It docent matter if you or I declare if a war is "necessary" or not. congress asks for the artillery and we just work it for them. and saying that it is an unnecessary war to me is like saying that my brothers and sisters have died for no reason.

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so would you're saying is your opinion doesn't matter? in that case why are you commenting on here? and if that's what you think I'm saying, then maybe your subconscious is trying to tell you something about what's really going on

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go fuck yourself you little shit. I've served my country with pride. it is not my place to question why I am there. but why the fuck do I put my life on the line every day so snotty brats like you can tell me that subconsciously I don't believe in my mission? no it's so my family does not have to do it.

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wow, real mature. but I guess I wouldn't expect much better from someone who openly admits that they don't question why they're killing other people. and for all you know, and as I suspect, I'm your elder, and I'm more educated, in logic, culture, current events, and psychology, so I have every right to question your so called pride that the educated world looks at as sheepish stupidity

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first off it is my duty as a solder to follow the orders handed down to me from my superiors I kill and was trained to kill when necessary. if you were older than me the you would show respect where respect is do. you believe in a myth called peace witch as long as man roams the earth will never happen and if you want peace prepare for war. so I think you can shuve your half baked philosophy up your 13 year old ass.

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I have to tell you that I respect you with every fiber of my being and everyone else who ever defended this country. my uncle served in afganistan seeing guys like you and him make me proud.

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I'm glad people with tempers like you defend the country. My ex was in the army and had a temper like yours, and he smashed my skull open. Don't any of you need to take anger tests??

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sipher, you are one of the dumbest people on this site. I looked at your profile and I am indeed older than you. I am also clearly smarter. for example, I understand that even a soldier can question his orders and that an intelligent person doesn't get a job where they don't get to make decisions. in fact, that's how the armed forces work. the smart people stay behind and manipulate the dumb sheeple, otherwise know as you. but I do have respect for those who deserve it, many people work job

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Higgs, I like how you keep insisting you're such a smart and wise man, yet your spelling and grammar mistakes say otherwise. I don't believe the war in Afghanistan is right, (in fact I think it's downright stupid lol) but I respect the men and women who join the army to protect their country so people can yell and criticize them :D

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226-Thank you for your service. What you do is extremely courageous and honorable, to leave safety and go into harms way in the name of your country. Having said that I hope you understand that someone questioning the reasons why you were sent to war doesn't reflect on you, just the reasoning and decision-making process that went into going to war. So I hope you understand this, that from most people I know that question the war, they don't question soldiers but the leaders that put them ther

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that's funny how I'm an LT and officers still receive orders so there gos your idea right out of the water and according to your FML it says you were born in 02 so how are you older than me? I might not be the smartest person but I'm sure as he'll am not the dumbest. oh and to answer the anger question yes there is but after playing in the sandbox for a few months you get sick of people trying to kill you and friends geting shipped back home on medavacs or body bags so forgive me If I sound a li

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ya. but what about the people that we (US) are shooting/killing at? I'm sure they have a loving family and children too. America isn't the only one on this country. it's best we don't have war at all. all this because of a couple of terrorists flying into the twin towers. don't get me wrong, I am respectful of it, may the lost, R.I.P., but you can't assume everyone in the middle east is like and have to go to war for that. the real enemy are the power/money hungry corporate buttfaces that make t

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this can go on for ever so i will just stop it now. everyone is entitled to their own opinions that's what America is all about. it's my personal opinion that we get involved in other countries affairs too often. George washington said two things when he ended his presidency it was ( no more than two terms should one person hold the office of the president and to stay out of other countries affairs) unfortunately it took us along time to listen to the firs part and we haven't learned our lesson

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Hey Higgs, my name is reason, allow me to introduce myself. I like how you're bashing sipher because he isn't making peace by fighting for something he believes in (which correct me if I'm wrong sipher is honor and duty) and yet you're creating a conflict between yourself and him. You're proving his, what I believe to be valid, point that it is impossible to have peace. Look around us. Tell me, are other animals at peace? I'm glad you don't have the decency to respect people like my grandfather

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Your Grandad served in WWII, which was a necessary war. It was absolutely going to happen, and we needed to go ahead with it. But it seems that nowadays the war we attempt to create is totally unjustified and unnecessary.

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you're doing a great job I admire you don't waste your energy arguing in here...god bless you and keep you safe.I don't know you but the way but you make me proud of you and all soldiers out there.

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Sipher, I just want to say, I'm am very grateful to you, and you are such an honorable person. I support the troops 110%. My brother is in the military, and with that, every single one of y'all are like family. Y'all deserve every bit of respect. So keep in mind, we aren't all stupid idiots back here at home, there are more of us who are grateful for your service than there are the idiots! Be safe, and we all are waiting for y'all to come back home!

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I'm going to have to side with higgs on this one... I didn't realize that this many people were still consumed by post-9/11 paranoia...

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thank you no_loveMM, someone who understands. @ sipher, not only did I not put my real birthday up on fml, but the one listed is in 1966, so can you not read or is your connection to the matrix timing out? @ drakem, it is not that I don't know the grammar, it's that I'm admittedly too lazy to use it among a group of people who either don't care, don't know it, or do care and don't know it (the grammar Nazis). FYI though, I teach college classes in writing and the physical sciences so I'm pretty

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in order to have anything in the world accomplished, there has to be conflict. true peace according to definition is impossible...

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Fuck you. If you loathe the wars so much, do something about it, instead of harassing a US soldier. CONGRESS sends young soldiers off to war, not the other way around. Who are you to ridicule "his so called pride" as you put it? He is doing his job.

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I am former military and my husband is currently deployed. I dont agree with having these wars, but I still respect soldiers and their sacrafice. Liberal assholes think their opinions matter, and love to spout their anti military vitriol anyplace they can. Until those armchair quarterbacks have been to those 3rd world shitholes and endured the bs with being sent to war, they'll never understand. You can't just say "no thanks, I am not deploying with my unit."

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If you are just so damn smart, what's your solution to make things better? I have one: Kill yourself. Now.

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"Liberal assholes..." - That's where I stopped reading. Fucking conservatives stereotype the party like we're all ungrateful jerks. Well, fuck you. I'm Liberal and still support our troops.

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Higgs I totally agree with you about war but peace is impossible. Humans are designed to destroy each other. To quote Ollie from The Mist "As a species we're fundamentally insane. Put more than two of us in a room, we pick sides and start dreaming up reasons to kill one another. Why do you think we invented politics and religion?" It is impossible to have peace, but some wars are pointless Iraq the second time, Afghanistan, and soon Libya.

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People should realize how POINTLESS the war in Iraq is.. and also the occupation of Palestine which is funded by the US if you didn't know referring to any dumb asses here, tell me what about the kids stuck in the war? what do they do? Im only 15 years old and I lived in Palestine for 11 years and went through more 'war' then all you soldiers saying your putting your life on the line, I was forced to as a kid to be in war because other countries like to involve themselves with a country that isn

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I think I'm just going to ignore everything skyeyez9 said... Sounds just like my 5 year old brother when he doesn't get his chocolate bar... but to the guy that said peace is impossible that is not true... We just don't know how to obtain it... If a plane flys into a building we automatically assume it came from a developing country and proceed to invade it declaring we are defending our country...That is flat out ignorant bullshit...

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So you think as a mass protest, soldiers should just quit their jobs, disband? Hmmm, cause joining up means they may go to war? And you consider yourself intelligent. You do realize CONGRESS sends soldiers to war, not the other way around. You dont like the wars, protest against the greedy, self serving politicians who send our soldiers off to fight and die. Don't disrespect soldiers who serve their countries proudly.

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I love how everyone just assumes that I am liberal anti-war. what's funny about it is that I am neither, I believe that certain wars are necessary, and I support many conservative ideas. but for some reason the idiots like skyeyez9 and sipher can't seem to figure out that I have given very few opinions, and attempt to attack me personally, proofing they have the same logic skills as a 7 year old. that being said, at least some people are capable of thought: @ theSmileMan, peace is not impossi

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skyeyez, are you really that dumb? if there were no soldiers, who would congress control? and how can someone take pride in pointlessly killing innocent people? i owe soldiers who do not think about their actions no respect

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Skyeyez WHY do you keep saying the same thing over and over again...CONGRESS DOES send soldiers to war...and because of that the soldiers and people like you foolishly believe that invading a country, destroying it's government, rebuilding it to look like the good guy, kill the innocent inhabitants is SOMEHOW defending your country from a threat that is coming DIRECTLY from said country. Please...HOW are you so stupid?

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"sipher16" you are 20 years old and over there just because you are an idiot kid who is eager to hold a gun and to be in the army,cause in your empty brain you think that it will be like a movie or like "call of duty". Oh and you think that it is something kickass to be in the army and you think that it makes you grow up. Well it doesn't. No freakinbody will grow up because they kill, and nobody in this world right to have a call on any others life, especially if you are a citizen of one of the

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okay, so what we've established here today is that congress sends people to fight, some wars are pointless, and we should not boo soldiers at the airport. But personally, my opinion is that congress sends people to fight, yes, and if people stop enlisting, the draft will be reinstated, which no one wants, some wars are pointless, yes, but even still we should support our soldiers, maybe their orders of who to attack aren't made by people who know what they are doing, but there are people who are

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Fuck yourself 218, the men and women of our military fight for YOU and for all americams, the fact that you are being ungrateful for this sickens me.

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307 The fact that you believe America's military presence in Iraq and Afghanistan is DEFENDING our freedom...is simply pushing yourself towards retarded...

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Obama promised to take all troops out of Iraq by the end of 2011 but obviously that won't be happening he also promised Israel enough money over the next decade to help them get more control of Palestine and the Middle east in general. People open your eyes and see that these soldiers that enlist do more damage to others than themselves, I still respect them but they obviously scar people mentally and possibly physically because that's pretty much a soldiers job nowadays in Iraq and Palestine so

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how does Obama except to give Israel enough money to get back on their feet when we are in a recession already....

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seriously, I would love for you to go out there risk your life so your family can be safe. if someone is shooting at you, you will be shooting at that person so you don't die and come home safe. I feel bad for soldiers that they risk their life's for people like you. and soldiers are educated!

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24- maybe they COULDN'T get married, ever thought about that? or maybe since he'll be gone, they decided to wait 'til he gets back! you don't have to stereotype and discriminate against America for your criticism, okay?

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No, THIS is what is wrong for America. Everyone believing you need to follow every tradition set in place exactly as everyone thinks it should be. Get married then have kids, never the reverse. Marriage is just as susceptible to problems as is being boyfriend and girlfriend. Maybe they're completely happy being just "bf/gf." Is it really going to kill you if a couple doesn't get married? Please retrieve the wedding rings from your asses because even if you DO get married I don't be

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this is super rude, but for financial stability you should be married both of my sister have husbands in the army and if god forbids anything happens it's best to be covered by the military

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I wouldn't have said it, but I was thinking it. I don't understand people that just live together and have kids together, but don't get married.... that's just me though. It's their lives though, so it's their choice... I'm just saying that I don't understand it. I personally can't wait to marry the one I love.

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If you are having a child with a serviceman/woman you should get married, the services do not pay girlfriends or significant others in the event of a death. It is just selfish to put your child's future at risk because you don't like tradition. Actually, if you have a child at all you should marry, otherwise you look like you've got your parachute ready to bail out if things get ugly. Children deserve better.

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84, weddings depending on the person can cost as little as $50.Not everyone wants a big wedding but that pretty little piece of paper shows that you love your partner enough to become one. Back in the old days marrige was used to find out if you were compatible by having said 'couple' on watch therefore no sex before marrige; ever heard of make-up sex? they prevented that so if they fought they had to handle it in a adult manner with out having that joy to just ignore their problems. If they han

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Well 84, how many of those had a spouse who was about to deploy to a war zone and run the risk of dying? You are aware that the Air Force, as with all services, will not pay a girlfriend or an illegitimate child in the event of a death aren't you? It is a bit more than tradition that is being thought of here.

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what's marriage besides a girlfriend and boyfriend being legally bonded by paper? a family is more than marriage. marriage coats money, while being in love together boyfriend and girlfriend is just the same. Stop being morons. it's not the 1800s anymore.

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So just because you have kids or you one day want to have kids, you should get married so they won't get "thrown around"? There are lots of kids who live in homes where their parents are married yet they fight, have tempers that get out of hand, or the parent still isn't around due to work or they just don't want to be there. There are just as many families where they are not married and the same thing happens. There are also families that are and are not married where they love each o

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104, it's not all the same to the Air Force. That "silly" little piece of paper means the difference between that child living on food stamps or not should dad die. Stop being so angry at "oppressive traditions" when they can actually be better than your "better" solution.

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it may not be the "1800s" as you say- which is laughable considering nothings changed law-wise but it's still best for her and the kid. unless of course she doesn't love him enough to marry him...

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if you are trying for kids get married, take your time and show that you have your finances ready, then have kids. it's the mature thing to do. especially if op is an army wife.

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It's not just about love....There are many other factors that play into it such as finances, family, past relationships ect. Either one could have been in a long term relationship/marriage before that ended horribly and they don't want to get caught up in the same mess. Many people get married, end up in divorce and realize they never want to go through that again. If the family doesn't like her or him it's a lot of stress on a relationship when you don't have that support but yet you care enoug

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Hate to break it to you 84 but what you described was a wedding, not a marriage. Yes a marriage license does cost money but that's the only obligation you have to pay to legally say that you're married, everything else is optional. Contrary to what you said, marriage is more than the actual wedding day, it's getting to share your life with someone you love, that has nothing to do with money.

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Hate to break it to you 84 but what you described was a wedding, not a marriage. Yes a marriage license does cost money but that's the only obligation you have to pay to legally say that you're married, everything else is optional. Contrary to what you said, marriage is more than the actual wedding day, it's getting to share your life with someone you love.

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# 141, Who exactly is whining? Hopefully YOUR loved one will get you a book on correct grammatical terms as a wedding present to use on those "WHINEY ass" people, heck throw in a dictionary as well ;)

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before my husband and I got married, I would have received every penny from his SGLI because he put my name down, all he had to do was fill out an extra form stating that I was not his spouse at the time but still wanted everything to go to me : ) and as for our son, as soon as he was born he became a dependent of my husband (at the time we were only engaged) so my son received all the benefits from the military, the she wanted to receive the insurance benefits (Tricare) then yes they would have

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145-I was simply stating everything around a marriage. Im sorry didn't state the in between period from getting married to passing away or ending up in divorce. What I stated above was divorce. All I'm saying is that everything cost money. They may not want to take that step right now if not ever or they want to save to have a decent wedding. I will say I did word it wrong. I should have said wedding day.... I'm not against marriage at all as I am married myself. They just don't need to run off

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First, I was born to a parent who wasn't married and who still isn't. I'm a honors student with high expectations and hopes. Marriage doesn't change the raising of the child, they're still his/her parents either way! So I don't know what the argument is about, who are you to know the situation anyway. Not everyone wants to get settled down like their Amish or something anyway, wth is this? The 1800s? Stop being such a traditionalist and get with the program.

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Dont worry, its not as bad over there as the media makes it out to be.....plus, his command will let him come home for the birth or he can arrange his R&R for around the delivery date.

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Being an American Soldier and just returning home from Afghanistan myself, it would have been best if they were married. It just came to me that his command is not required to let him go home for the child’s birth. Plus if they were married they could be receiving family separation pay….there was one instance when I was there where a soldier’s “live-in” girlfriend had a surgery, but they wouldn’t let him go home to see her, but another older soldier’s daughter gave birth and he was able to leave

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Thank you 201, someone actually in the military who has an idea what they are talking about. It's easy enough for civvies to say marriage isn't necessary, but for someone who will be messed about if they don't it's not so easy.

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Bullshit. In the event of his death during this deployment, I get half of the 500,000 dollar life insurance policy the army has taken out on my fiance. His mother gets the other half.

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I 100% agree with this statement. Especially being a military wife. If they were married she would receive FREE prenatal care and extra money while he's deployed. Also, it's just stupid to PLAN a baby before you're married. Accidents happen, but being stupid is inexcusable

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Yeah well thank god my Mom didn't get married. My Dad turned out to be a cheating scumbag, and if they were married then it would have been a absolutely huge issue. You can't just pick up your bag and walk out in a marriage, it's always: 'What about the kids'. Yeah what about the asshole who put pressure on the marriage. I don't know, it just irks me that because you are bitter about your Dad, you think everyone should be married when having kids. Me, my Mom and my brother are happier as a si

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weddings don't have to be expensive....it's called going to the courthouse, or justice of the peace, eloping, las vegas, etc....you don't have to spend thousands of dollars...and with all of those choices, the wedding could still be real nice. Now, I'm not saying anything....but I am the kinda girl who wants to get married before kids, but if it happens before, no chip on my shoulders. But I gotta ask, if y'all are bf/gf, and starting a family...which seems like an official step; why not just

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you are an asshole and keep your fucking opinion to yourself you don't have to be married to have kids!!!! I'm a teen parent! my sister knows how she feels my brother in law missed it too

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You do not need to be married to have kids, not at all. I planned my child and I have no intention of ever getting married because the money, even the tiny amount used on a courthouse wedding, can be better used elsewhere. Children need a loving family and a nuturing enviroment and whether we like it or not that means ANY type of good family. A single mum, grandparents raising a child, homosexual couples, polyamorous families and step families, this is the world now and as long as the child is n

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True! They are also not entitled to health and dental care by the military unless married. He is doing hos child and gf a great disservice leaving them high and dry.

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260 and 261 you miss the point completely, by not being married OP and her child they risk not receiving any money should the father die, and will not get the health coverage offered to spouses and legitimate children. Your protest over what is acceptable in the civil world has no bearing in this. Yes you might be outraged the gay marriage doesn't exist, but when OP's boyfriend dies that outrage will do nothing, and should OP be in an awful car accident your moral standing will not pay for her s

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It is a FACT married couples fare better financially vs a single parent counterpart. Also should your bf die suddenly, their out of wedlock kid and gf are entitled to NOTHING. Which means bf's parents and siblings can walk in yours and your bf home and stake claim to everything you have, including his savings account! I worked in a legal job and saw this alot. No marriage certificate, no will, no power of attorney means you will lose everything to his beneficiaries. Ugly truth. If my husband

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To those arguing about the cost of a wedding: first of all, as others have stated, a wedding doesn't have to cost thousands of dollars. Second, if the problem for them not being married is money, then it's very irresponsible to PLAN a child without having some financial stability. Tradition or no tradition, the responsible and smart thing in this situation would have been to get married. If you love some one enough to live together and have children together, why not just get married?

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@248 I have not missed the point. I know, right now, that OP is entitled to nothing but they should be entitled. Its just another way of goverments cheating people out of things because they make a different choice in life. The laws around marriage have led to a lot of unhappy people who have been forced into marriage because they are having a kid, or couples who are not ready to e married getting married before one or both deploys. This is probably why divorce is so high because we feel we have

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49, it was probably his choice before he met her, so he should give up his career if he meets a girl and/or gets her pregnant, is that what you're saying?

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I didn't read anywhere that she's blaming him for this. All she's saying is that I'm pregnant, he's leaving in June deployment, who knows what may happen to him, and it fucking sucks. All it is is a pity story.

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#49 - To protect our freedom and rights from other radical figures. They should stick you in the army too and see how you feel.

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72, he's being realistic. If you're going to have a family with someone in the army, then it's best to marry them so that you can get paid when they have their untimely death. I'm not saying all these people will die in service, but it's best to protect against the risks than get slapped in the face with it later.

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it's best to marry so her and the baby will be covered for health care.... we all don't die when we deploy

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Seriously girl, change your picture unless you wanna hear all this crap being talked about you.

Better get married before he deploys or you and your baby have no protection if God forbid something happens to him. You're better off to be a surviving spouse, as girlfriend with illegitimate baby means Nothing to the military. Sorry, not trying to be mean, just SMART. I was an Army brat and saw alot of situations.

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It's a better solution than not doing it. Murphy's Law says that if they don't marry he will die and she will get nothing, just saying.

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ugliness you are a complete idiot. If they're dying to have kids then they love each other enough to get married. If she marries him the kids will have military insurance for medical and dental which I think is cigna, and rest good at that, and he'll make more overall, and even more on deployment, so he can better support them. So OP had better smarten up and get a ring. Also they'll get benefits if he dies for some reason.

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Looking at it objectively is the right thing to do. It has nothing to do with having a child out of marriage, and its ludicrous to think that an unmarried household can't provide a good environment for a child. But having a child is a big commitment, so they might as well get married. It's not like they're avoiding marriage just in case things don't work out right? Or at least I'd hope not...they're having a kid after all. That being said, there is MUCH more benefit to be had from marriage. A

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