Intimacy: Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while,...

By sn-511 - 01/03/2013 22:54 - Italy - Naples

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 016

You deserved it 5 989

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Same thing different taste

Classically Abby

By shesanexnow - 19/08/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 300

You deserved it 203

Night terror

By unlovedandunfucked - 10/12/2014 18:16 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 747

You deserved it 4 553

By shallowvomit1013 - 23/12/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 029

You deserved it 5 419

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 681

You deserved it 10 543

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 431

You deserved it 9 834

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 952

You deserved it 5 600

By shit.... - 08/11/2012 18:25 - Malaysia - Kuala Selangor

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 631

You deserved it 31 341

Confusing

By so confused - 09/12/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 202

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 320

You deserved it 68 674

By illequipt - 16/03/2009 03:20 - Canada

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 520

You deserved it 32 049

6tori6 5

Saturday 2 March 2013 2:57

yet she is the one who put her hand down your crotch...

HandaPitler 1

Saturday 2 March 2013 2:57

Women, usually assuming we want to have sex just because we have a boner. i feel your pain op. my ex was the exact same way

Comments

perdix 29

Saturday 2 March 2013 5:28

Use Duran Duran to prove to her that you did not get an erection of your own free will -- it was just a reflex, a reflex, fleck, fleck, fleck, fleck, flex!

akiahara 14

Saturday 2 March 2013 5:35

I'm curious what exactly she expected to happen...

sirjuice35 11

Saturday 2 March 2013 5:47

women. we just can't win.

muddie12677 4

Saturday 2 March 2013 5:53

Well, that didn't escalate quickly. D: And if you're the horny pig then why is she touching you crotch?

darkinners 6

Saturday 2 March 2013 5:57

what ? OP you dating a 12 years old ?

MitchThatGuy 5

Saturday 2 March 2013 5:58

Meow

asherm 15

Saturday 2 March 2013 6:08

She sounds like a tease

RachelK778 3

Saturday 2 March 2013 6:20

Don't worry, you'll get better at containing your horny piggyness when you're older ;D

mkcherry 14

Saturday 2 March 2013 6:46

so she wanted to grab your flaccid penis? I kind of expect the man I'm with to get erections from making out with me/seeing me naked etc, isn't attraction the point of dating someone. Also many men get erections at inappropriate times they can't really help it.

jlpteo 6

Saturday 2 March 2013 11:15

True dat

generationaliya 7

Saturday 2 March 2013 6:48

If she didn't want to have sex with you why the hell would she put her hand down to your crotch? Clearly she's the one who pulled the first move by putting her hand on your crotch?