Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out...

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 141

You deserved it 10 846

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 127

By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 11:13 - Switzerland

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 801

You deserved it 97 657

Seventh heaven

By Egyptian ToyBoy - 17/12/2019 20:00

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She had such an uncontrollable, aggressive orgasm that I'd be celebrating my efforts, if only in the process she hadn't knocked over my new expensive laptop, which then split in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 860

You deserved it 462

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 06:03 - United States - Demorest

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 036

You deserved it 3 908

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 559

You deserved it 9 936

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 941

You deserved it 629

Girls will be girls

By Anonymous - 13/01/2021 08:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 734

I am clumsy!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 18:00

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 394

You deserved it 3 161

The heat of the moment

By righthook - 08/04/2015 19:56 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 880

You deserved it 8 644

Routine

By youaresodumb - 27/09/2010 04:19 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 431

You deserved it 34 338

WhatThePhuc 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 7:38

SURPRISE CONTRACEPTION!!!

kleokriesel 0

Monday 9 February 2009 9:32

that's what you get for using the pullout method FAIL

Comments

paulfalcon 0

Monday 23 March 2009 2:45

Falcon Punches negate pregnancy so, well done!

xsydbabyx 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 7:11

FALCON PUNCH. SCORE4U. You solves teen pregnancy :D - S.

SgtSchadenfreude 0

Monday 30 March 2009 10:03

#25: LOL! But you forgot that the real payoff is when you shout "WHOA!" with a bewildered yet vapid expression on your face, which is known in most circles as the Joey Lawrence follow-through.

Etc80 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 21:33

#7 made me laugh more than the actual fml! HAHAHA.

frayedwire 0

Friday 3 April 2009 13:19

I might actually try this one. I'll have to make sure it looks like a slip though.

cherrymary 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 5:19

YOU FAIL

ELAINEsaysWOOF 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 2:44

you should have punched her in the face

PaperxHearts_xox 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 22:45

wow, that was REAL smart, huh, buddy? how do you end up 'accidently' punching her anyways? next time, be a little more careful. you could've easily really hurt her.