Health: Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the...

By ouchmytits - 28/03/2011 06:42 - United States

Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 734

You deserved it 4 577

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By roadbikemama - 25/10/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 262

You deserved it 11 130

By burnt - 13/08/2012 04:43 - Australia - Middle Swan

Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 138

You deserved it 3 355

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 480

You deserved it 6 937

Mush

By Tired Tater - 05/06/2023 20:00 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I over-boiled some potatoes. I was having a bad day and this tipped me over the edge. I burst into tears and threw the potatoes all over my kitchen. I then stomped on the piping hot potatoes. The bottoms of my feet are blistered and still feel like they’re burning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 1 415

Kitchen nightmares

By Clumsy - 24/08/2021 11:01 - Brazil - Niterói

Today, I accepted I can't cook at all. Why? I burned myself cooking popcorn in a microwave oven. I accidentally burst the package open and a scorching kernel flew into my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 192

By foolmetwice - 16/05/2011 14:28

Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 087

You deserved it 40 092

Clumsy

By Anonymous - 11/01/2021 20:02

Today, I was making Cup Noodles for breakfast. After microwaving it for 3 minutes, I carefully grabbed the cup to pour some water out, but my hand gave out and some water spilled on it. Now I have a burned hand and no noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 240

By klutz - 25/08/2010 04:14 - Canada

Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 206

You deserved it 9 707

By HarvestMoon_gal - 24/07/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 094

You deserved it 10 657

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

By Anonymous - 30/04/2020 23:00

Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 545

ChrisLTC 3

Monday 28 March 2011 12:47

Now when you flash your boobs it will look like they are winking!

FMLephant 2

Monday 28 March 2011 12:55

One pound of potatoes, boiled and peeled, mayonnaise, celery, dill weed, a little mustard, and half a nipple. Season to taste.

Comments

JGoD24 5

Monday 28 March 2011 23:35

Pics or it didn't happen!

Amanyyyyyy 29

Sunday 13 April 2014 5:06

Call me crazy... But something tells me you wouldn't want to see burnt boobs with one and a half nipples...

HarveyHx 0

Monday 28 March 2011 23:40

So you cant cook and have no more boobs ... i sure hope you have some other wife quality x

cicibizzy112 0

Monday 28 March 2011 23:50

FORK YOU

sayHellotomyKitt 0

Monday 28 March 2011 23:54

Omg. I'd die if I messed up my boobs. I'm so sorry

fried_lime 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:19

It only matters if you're hot.

Pietje_Precies 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:30

Why do ppl click on the YDI button?! She had an amazingly painful accident!!

nitewlf12 10

Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:02

Ouch. Do you need me to kiss it? Would that make you feel better? Cause it would me!

1217jonathan 15

Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:02

I'll kiss it for you, jk

ScrabbleBabe2010 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:07

THIS is a real fml.

clutchking50 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:57

pic or didnt happen

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I took my hoodie off in public and my shirt accidentally lifted up with it. I've had bad skin problems since I was 12 or 13, and my chest looks horrific as a result. Everyone in my vicinity reacted with horror and called me all sorts of awful names. Nice to know that my appearance makes me that repulsive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 88

Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 739

You deserved it 27 157

The Top

Today, my parents left on a trip. I wanted to invite my girlfriend over for a few days so we could spend them together. Then my grandparents turn up, "just for a few days, until your parents return, so you won't be alone in this big house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 799

You deserved it 3 818

Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 716

You deserved it 16 062

Today, my brother stole my hard drive and wiped it. My hard drive had a 10-page school project on it. The project is due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 370

You deserved it 258

Today, I was excited to see a spider skittering across my bathroom floor, because this one was real and not a hallucination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 264

You deserved it 6 818

Today, my daughter had a flat tire. When she told me about it, I said, “Well, it’s a good thing you know how to change a tire!” She then replied that she has actually forgotten how to change a tire, because it’s “been too long.” It’s only been a couple months since I showed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 281

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's scared because her period is late, and that they're usually on time. Five hours late apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 54