Health: Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two...

By Anonymous - 17/11/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 551

You deserved it 5 930

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Same thing different taste

By oh no - 22/06/2015 20:58 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 476

You deserved it 5 283

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 961

You deserved it 7 915

By thanksmom - 09/01/2013 19:57 - United States - Tucson

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 636

You deserved it 7 780

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 396

You deserved it 48 834

By impatient amy - 27/01/2009 14:23 - Ireland

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 880

You deserved it 2 891

By Becca - 31/01/2010 05:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 066

You deserved it 7 035

By Poopie - 29/01/2011 06:06 - Canada

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 215

You deserved it 3 200

By PissNTra - 19/07/2011 17:11 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house to meet her entire family for the first time. Trying not to be rude, I ate their 12-bean and chorizo soup. Now I'm stuck in the bathroom trying to unclog the toilet with no plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 906

You deserved it 5 263

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 285

You deserved it 7 523

Oversharing is caring

By Lauren - 12/10/2011 17:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 459

You deserved it 2 862

eyehurts 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 23:07

sucks fyl but next time only take one?

SweetieLish 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 23:41

Yeah, if it was just "slight" constipation, why take 2? Just take one and see how it goes.

Comments

MorlekEngel 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 23:30

Hello?? Explain that you feel unwell, not why if you don't want. Then say you'll let him know about tomorrow. Simple.

marc_with_a_c 3

Tuesday 17 November 2009 23:31

Why did you take two? Just one would have worked.. your own fault really :)

grrrarrrg2 2

Tuesday 17 November 2009 23:32

wait?! girls dont poop!

SweetieLish 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 23:41

Yeah, if it was just "slight" constipation, why take 2? Just take one and see how it goes.

Sahou 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 23:47

cancel it out with immodium

mrose57 0

Wednesday 18 November 2009 0:15

Don't shart in front of his parents or you'll be his ex tomorrow!

AndreaHatesYou1 0

Wednesday 18 November 2009 0:25

Because it's REEAAALLLLLYYYYY difficult to say you're sick. I don't get how some people manage to form those words.

elgordito_fml 0

Wednesday 18 November 2009 0:35

i take massive shots all the time, with no help from chemicals, and i always clog up every toilet i use

whatthefuckcunt 0

Thursday 19 November 2009 6:51

wow. i could not be prouder of you right now. you know how to shit. congratulations!!!

WhatAboutUsFolk 3

Wednesday 18 November 2009 0:41

Nxt tym try to take one, ok. If that one doesn't do the job then take another.

visage 0

Wednesday 18 November 2009 1:12

liar. girls don't crap!

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Same thing different taste

Smells like teen shit

Sitcom vibes

Oversharing is caring

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