Miscellaneous: Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so...

By kenyaliving - 13/02/2013 22:04 - Kenya

Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 886

You deserved it 5 577

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Same thing different taste

The passenger

By F.L.Stubbs - 05/08/2023 00:00 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I was drinking coffee at work, while being surrounded by a lot of flies in the area I was working. Later, in the evening, I found a fly under my bottom denture plate. It'd been there for about 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 130

By Human fly - 21/04/2013 06:20 - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 097

You deserved it 46 451

By jess - 07/03/2010 14:08 - South Africa

Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 023

You deserved it 4 683

By Shinobi_3 - 26/02/2010 17:43 - United States

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 833

You deserved it 29 323

Added protein

By Anonymous - 10/02/2021 00:30

Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 177

Tasty

By Anonymous - 06/11/2009 14:31 - Denmark

Today, at a party, a fly flew into my mouth. I spat it out, and in an effort to wash my mouth out, I grabbed the can of coke that was on the table next to me. Apparently people had been spitting in there and using it as an ashtray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 744

You deserved it 9 820

By hantavirus - 26/08/2009 08:44 - United States

Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead-mouse water for the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 904

You deserved it 11 387

By pukeytimes - 10/04/2015 23:03 - Australia - Leichhardt

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 838

You deserved it 2 253

By Disgusted - 04/02/2011 02:14 - United States

Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 245

You deserved it 10 758

Hi guys

By unemployed - 11/07/2016 19:09 - United States - Modesto

Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 255

You deserved it 804

Grootensliven 10

Thursday 14 February 2013 8:00

And not a shit was given that day

Lucia_Malpense 14

Thursday 14 February 2013 8:00

At least you haven't gotten to the point where you drink it fly and all.

Comments

Satoaoi 13

Thursday 14 February 2013 8:42

oh how sad. I hope u find a good home soon. you deserve it

verkaderk 9

Thursday 14 February 2013 15:47

How would you know? What if OP is a serial killer on the run???

buckdharma 36

Thursday 14 February 2013 8:53

I got a feeling Op is'nt drinking water.

Enslaved 36

Thursday 14 February 2013 9:19

How Kenya tell?

iammeorami 25

Thursday 14 February 2013 9:07

Wow, I've been to Kenya and have gotten leaves of bread with flies in them............ Really gross

melons 44

Thursday 14 February 2013 10:47

That was fruit cake, not bread.

Enslaved 36

Thursday 14 February 2013 9:15

Not without yelling "Spit out my beer, you thieving bastard!"

LaurenAshleigh97 12

Thursday 14 February 2013 9:21

I think it's funny how everyone has automatically assumed OP is drinking beer

Enslaved 36

Thursday 14 February 2013 9:26

Yep, Corona Beer! Damn Spanish Fly!

Tiana_34 4

Thursday 14 February 2013 10:26

Kenya believe it?! had to be done.

misslysiak 23

Thursday 14 February 2013 10:59

I do that all the time. I didn't realise that it was a bad thing.

StanSmith2013 26

Thursday 14 February 2013 11:14

Looks like I will be having fun out there, when I go on safari in 2014!

KiddNYC1O 20

Thursday 14 February 2013 13:50

Damn, who knows how many turds the fly dove in before diving in your water...

Cupcake040 17

Thursday 14 February 2013 13:54

Protein?

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The Top

Today, my cat tried to look out my bedroom window. To do so, she tried to stand on my air conditioner. She was unsuccessful in that endeavor, almost knocking my TV over and fucking up the side panel. Now there's an opening in my window that I can't close up. Guess I'll take the AC out and shut the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 92

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 2 005

The Top

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 454

You deserved it 3 397

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 490

You deserved it 13 203

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 086

You deserved it 8 577

Today, after I got dumped a few months ago, I wrote a love letter to win her back. Romantic, right? She didn't think so. She called the cops. Now I may lose my job and my pension, and have to start life over at 40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 581

Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only woman out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 647

You deserved it 3 115

Today, my parents came back from their holiday and were constantly asking about "the girl I had over". They thought so because of the two wine glasses in the dishwasher. I didn't have anyone over. I just got drunk two nights in a row and was too lazy to clean the first one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 579

You deserved it 842

Same thing different taste

The passenger

Added protein

Tasty

Hi guys

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