Kids: Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year-old son. He wriggled...

By sly - 04/01/2009 03:55 - France

Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year-old son. He wriggled away and said, "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or get another Simon!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 146

You deserved it 3 777

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Same thing different taste

Bad boy

By Sissy - 06/12/2009 00:04 - United States

Today, I was standing in a long line at the Post Office when my 3 year-old son started rubbing up and down my leg. I asked him what he was doing and he said loudly, "I'm humping you like Simon humps me!" Everyone looked at me in shocked horror. Simon is our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 276

You deserved it 3 351

By Rejected - 16/07/2011 13:28 - Australia

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 251

You deserved it 4 759

By I don't know, son - 16/11/2013 01:53 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 839

You deserved it 4 777

By life insurance for 1 - 30/05/2013 16:29 - United States - Encino

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 696

You deserved it 5 580

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 19:47 - Australia - Werribee

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 976

You deserved it 4 752

People of Walmart

By FayBerry88 - 04/07/2020 08:08

Today, my four-year-old son asked me for a "boobie hug" in Walmart. It's something his dad thinks is cute and I've just gotten used to, so I hugged him without question. From the other end of the aisle, a strange man asked, "Can I have one too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 473

By Danielle - 22/08/2011 07:38 - United States

Today, I was upset after a fight with my husband, so I cried alone in the bedroom. My 4-year-old son then comes in and hugs me. I thought he was trying to comfort me, but he then told me he had to go get his quarter my husband had promised to pay him if he made me shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 178

You deserved it 4 386

Wham!

By Omar Khalaf - 28/09/2017 01:30

Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 108

You deserved it 404

By Anonyme - 16/05/2014 07:55 - Canada - Saint-jean-de-matha

Today, I finally decided to get my five-year-old son a rabbit, so I explained to him how to take care of it. When I'd finished listing all the things he'd have to do, he replied, "That's too complicated... Couldn't we just eat it instead?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 916

You deserved it 9 831

By Bob - 11/04/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, I finally bought the toy my two year old son always wanted. He would always tap on the TV when the commercial for it would appear. I give him the present, and he starts playing with the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 793

You deserved it 9 793

alpuppy 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 23:06

hhaha that's ******* adorable "find another simon"

HOLLAcaust 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 5:48

That's adorable lol "Go find another Simon!"

Comments

fuckmylife2323 0

Monday 22 August 2011 10:35

That is the coolest little kid ever

frrenchy 5

Friday 15 June 2012 20:47

Very cute!

ergo_fml 13

Monday 25 June 2012 3:01

SO cute!

tinysocks 11

Tuesday 3 July 2012 18:32

That is just too cute!

enzo875 4

Monday 14 January 2013 2:54

If u want to snuggle get a dog

tarbaby6193 6

Friday 23 August 2013 4:57

Grade "A" FADE!!!!

sugarbear0727 19

Wednesday 16 October 2013 12:56

we, that's funny. It sucks when they reject you, but don't think too much about it.

djsammyc 19

Thursday 23 January 2014 1:55

simon says **** off

Emilygod2 14

Thursday 30 January 2014 23:38

Are u the mother or father

DarksideDoll 31

Saturday 1 March 2014 2:53

So cheeky!

Keywords

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 42 739

You deserved it 15 265

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I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 459

Today, I live on the second floor and my neighbor from below banged on my door, telling me I sounded like a giant elephant and needed to learn to be quiet. I was eating ice cream in bed. I also live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 126

Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 494

You deserved it 3 688

Today, we're right now at the hospital because my sister had a miscarriage. Last night I announced on Instagram that I was going to be aunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 488

Same thing different taste

Bad boy

People of Walmart

Wham!

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