Kids: Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year-old son. He wriggled... - FML

By sly - 04/01/2009 03:55 - France

Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year-old son. He wriggled away and said, "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or get another Simon!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 146

You deserved it 3 777

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Same thing different taste

Bad boy

By Sissy - 06/12/2009 00:04 - United States

Today, I was standing in a long line at the Post Office when my 3 year-old son started rubbing up and down my leg. I asked him what he was doing and he said loudly, "I'm humping you like Simon humps me!" Everyone looked at me in shocked horror. Simon is our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 274

You deserved it 3 349

By Rejected - 16/07/2011 13:28 - Australia

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 251

You deserved it 4 759

By I don't know, son - 16/11/2013 01:53 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 839

You deserved it 4 777

By life insurance for 1 - 30/05/2013 16:29 - United States - Encino

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 695

You deserved it 5 579

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 19:47 - Australia - Werribee

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 976

You deserved it 4 752

People of Walmart

By FayBerry88 - 04/07/2020 08:08

Today, my four-year-old son asked me for a "boobie hug" in Walmart. It's something his dad thinks is cute and I've just gotten used to, so I hugged him without question. From the other end of the aisle, a strange man asked, "Can I have one too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 473

By Danielle - 22/08/2011 07:38 - United States

Today, I was upset after a fight with my husband, so I cried alone in the bedroom. My 4-year-old son then comes in and hugs me. I thought he was trying to comfort me, but he then told me he had to go get his quarter my husband had promised to pay him if he made me shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 178

You deserved it 4 386

Wham!

By Omar Khalaf - 28/09/2017 01:30

Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 108

You deserved it 404

By Anonyme - 16/05/2014 07:55 - Canada - Saint-jean-de-matha

Today, I finally decided to get my five-year-old son a rabbit, so I explained to him how to take care of it. When I'd finished listing all the things he'd have to do, he replied, "That's too complicated... Couldn't we just eat it instead?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 916

You deserved it 9 830

By Bob - 11/04/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, I finally bought the toy my two year old son always wanted. He would always tap on the TV when the commercial for it would appear. I give him the present, and he starts playing with the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 792

You deserved it 9 792

Next

Top comments

alpuppy 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 23:06

hhaha that's ******* adorable "find another simon"

HOLLAcaust 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 5:48

That's adorable lol "Go find another Simon!"

Comments

SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 2:21

Is it weird that the first thing I think of when I hear the name Simon is the Chipmunk Simon?

iHatemylife987 0

Saturday 14 November 2009 15:35

Nope, thats who i thought of at first.

veesky 0

Friday 11 March 2011 9:53

OMG i thought the exact same thing!!

ladybuggg 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 4:41

im with #4

24788 6

Tuesday 5 May 2009 10:01

Haha, I think he feels he's told old for that.

AuriPantz 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 21:23

XD "Find another Simon..."

etherealjoy 0

Monday 1 June 2009 13:48

awwwww thats so cute! my mum was telling me the other day that she was talking to my sister on the phone. my sister says to her two year old son 'do you want to talk to grandma?'. her son says 'no! nana!'. nana is the other grandma!

Taolan 23

Wednesday 17 June 2009 6:19

Kids are so cute. @ #4 - Yeah... then Child Protective Services comes to question you. Even if you had your eyes on him the entire time. Effing pricks.

srpwuzhere 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 3:17

Aww! That's adorable xD

HyperExecuter 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 3:48

that's cute, but it's kinda stupid as an fml.

Cambo9000 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 1:56

in an English accent right

Philosophic 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 21:25

Isn't there laws against that? ..Plus, you could be a potential pedophile. ..."Leave him at my house for an hour, that'll teach him!"

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