Love: Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During...

By anyoi - 25/04/2012 22:43 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 310

You deserved it 3 435

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/08/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 096

You deserved it 42 130

By Anonymous - 19/08/2009 12:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend didn't come home from a night of drinking with the boys again, so I told him that I was packing my things and I wouldn't be here when he came home. After all my things were packed, I realized he drove my car to the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 983

You deserved it 8 967

Sneaky

By TasedAndDazed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 615

You deserved it 43 643

By thanksmom - 09/01/2013 19:57 - United States - Tucson

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 636

You deserved it 7 780

By Anonymous - 01/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 425

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 134

You deserved it 8 048

By FathersDay - 22/06/2009 05:27 - United States

Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 407

You deserved it 21 051

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 961

You deserved it 7 914

By Whoops - 28/01/2010 20:21 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 462

You deserved it 36 460

By Anonymous - 14/10/2012 17:03 - Estonia

Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 766

You deserved it 8 659

KatherineAnne 7

Thursday 26 April 2012 1:06

You sure know how to pick um! Haha

chick92282 15

Thursday 26 April 2012 1:07

And then you broke up with the thieving little slime, right? PLEASE tell me you broke up with the @ss!

Comments

jerseyboy732 16

Thursday 26 April 2012 6:46

yeah 127 that's seriously creepy

nickpwnes 4

Thursday 26 April 2012 7:14

Haha lol

octopussperm125 18

Thursday 26 April 2012 7:16

Shoulda been lookin for the oxy's

rock0 0

Thursday 26 April 2012 8:53

Well maybe he has insomnia

Ugi 26

Thursday 26 April 2012 11:24

And lost his own prescription. And desperately needs to sleep. During dinner.

thewickedwitch 6

Thursday 26 April 2012 8:57

that's wrong! what a jerk!

rock0 0

Thursday 26 April 2012 9:00

Well since you have the credentials

KunoKanashimi 3

Thursday 26 April 2012 10:19

I thought he was masturbating...Well, my mind is elsewhere...In a very dirty place...

coried91 28

Thursday 26 April 2012 21:18

Eh, I thought that was where the FML was heading as well. You're not the only one.

skittlesmeep 4

Thursday 26 April 2012 10:35

There goes the trust.

Ugi 26

Thursday 26 April 2012 11:14

OK, let's recap: You take your BF to meet your parents for the first time. We can therefore safely say that either he will be trying to impress them or he doesn't expect to be involved with you in the medium term. He steals an entire box of pills from your mother. Prescription meds that she will certainly miss pretty soon. Med's that are known to be open to abuse. He does this while taking an excessively long time alone in your parents house on the rather weak lie of supposedly going to the bathroom. An absence that will be obvious and well remembered. Add these up and we can conclude: He lies He steals He takes drugs He doesn't care if you know these things. He doesn't care if your parents know this. He doesn't intend to be with you for long. Hummm.... You decide.