Health: Today, I spent 2 hours scrubbing puke off the dishes in the kitchen....

By hate - 06/07/2017 11:58

Today, I spent 2 hours scrubbing puke off the dishes in the kitchen. Why? Because my moronic flatmate was dared by his equally moronic friend to drink a bottle of castor oil and then eat an entire jar of marmite. As a result, he projectile vomited all over all the dishes and left me to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 225

You deserved it 455

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 11:33 - Germany

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 979

You deserved it 2 362

By Anonymous - 14/05/2015 02:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 256

You deserved it 36 921

By militarywife2b - 14/12/2009 20:23 - France

Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch." I had to wash his plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 738

You deserved it 2 177

By hnickell93 - 09/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Visalia

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 735

You deserved it 5 397

By ihatelaura - 15/05/2010 23:47 - United States

Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 136

You deserved it 5 620

By Robbins - 31/08/2009 02:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 698

You deserved it 5 391

By theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 807

You deserved it 2 832

By LilyL - 06/06/2010 21:53 - United States

Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 152

You deserved it 5 726

Living the dream

By notyourcleaner - 13/01/2015 11:06 - Malaysia - Puchong

Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 140

You deserved it 2 690

By pukeytimes - 10/04/2015 23:03 - Australia - Leichhardt

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 837

You deserved it 2 252

a1f0sff 25

Thursday 6 July 2017 13:15

Why did you clean them?? I would have demanded him to wash the dishes.

chocolateteacup 25

Thursday 6 July 2017 14:00

That's not your mess to clean up OP!

Comments

a1f0sff 25

Thursday 6 July 2017 13:15

Why did you clean them?? I would have demanded him to wash the dishes.

wafflefriez91 17

Saturday 8 July 2017 10:52

and if he doesnt do it put them in his bed.

jrod6485 9

Thursday 6 July 2017 13:39

no you should have put that crap in his room

chocolateteacup 25

Thursday 6 July 2017 14:00

That's not your mess to clean up OP!

lucasjames22 8

Thursday 6 July 2017 14:08

this is not something you had to do. and 2 hours???

Amy78_fml 11

Thursday 6 July 2017 14:38

I choose you deserve it, because you are cleaning it up. If was me it would be left to him.

Tarlachia 33

Thursday 6 July 2017 14:59

I'd have taken all the dishes he puked onto and dropped them on his bed with a note, "Do stupid things, win stupid prizes. You won cleanup duty!"

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 6 July 2017 15:34

This is when you steal your flatmate's credit card to hire a hazmat crew to decontaminate your kitchen while you spend a week in a hotel.

Sneaky1690 8

Thursday 6 July 2017 20:04

If you actually do it, it will only encourage him. Put this dishes in his room so they don't stink up the house. Buy new dishes (a small amount) and keep them in you're room. Clean them when you're done using them. Anytime his dishes go uncleaned in a common area for 3-4 days, put them in his room.

Sneaky1690 8

Thursday 6 July 2017 20:05

Your*

FMLMaximus 23

Thursday 6 July 2017 20:26

no way. no way would I clean up after that. he'd do it himself immediately or he would be finding a new place to live. I can barely clean up my own child's vomit without blowing chunks myself.