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I'd have passed by and "mistakenly" stuck a toothpick in the burger. Or mistakenly thrown a knife at it. Homicide!

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Burger lover: Lettuce run away together! You mayo may not want to but we were made for each other. I want to ketchup with your heart.... OK I'm done now.

He's gonna be the one laughing when one of those things comes alive and enslaves the human race and he is the only one spared because of his loyalty.

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