Animals: Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my...

By farksh - 07/03/2015 12:14 - Australia

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 181

You deserved it 6 283

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Same thing different taste

By eyes wide SHIT - 28/12/2013 01:37 - Australia

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 011

You deserved it 5 945

Spooked

By chrskr13 - 28/07/2023 12:00 - Denmark - Soborg

Today, I had to sleep on couch cushions on the kitchen floor because í saw a tiny spider crawl under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 776

By Annie - 24/08/2015 08:46 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 781

You deserved it 9 252

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 316

Scared to bed

By Anonymous - 14/11/2018 12:00

Today, I'm scared to leave my bedroom. During the night, what must have been a giant spider made a web 4 feet wide stretching from the lightbulb to the tv and then down to the desk corner. It's blocking my path to the door and I can't tell where the 8-legged bastard is hiding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 732

You deserved it 421

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 150

By somebody - 08/06/2012 23:13 - United States - Lexington Park

Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 364

You deserved it 2 079

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 314

You deserved it 7 643

By igotpride - 09/12/2013 21:01 - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 813

You deserved it 5 370

By JustLeaveThem - 25/01/2017 18:00

Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 727

You deserved it 289

cutycat136 28

Saturday 7 March 2015 23:53

Okay. Now just don't think of the size of that spider and its long legs taking it all the way to the couch tonight. Good luck OP :)

coming back in the future 30

Saturday 7 March 2015 23:57

Only in Australia.,

Comments

ballbags 14

Sunday 8 March 2015 0:51

Pussy

Pancake847 14

Sunday 8 March 2015 1:01

Time to burn the house down

ImZacko 15

Sunday 8 March 2015 1:03

Just calmly grab a flamethrower and burn the house down simple no spider and you can sleep under the stars!

TheNiceOne 20

Sunday 8 March 2015 1:04

It will have it's vengeance.

Hammer1722 19

Sunday 8 March 2015 1:24

What's next a drop bear?

Larentiah 4

Sunday 8 March 2015 1:26

Did it have a health bar? Those Australian spiders ain't nothing to **** with.

Destinee_1 13

Sunday 8 March 2015 1:49

You think the couch is safer? I would stay at a friends house!

0neiros 14

Sunday 8 March 2015 1:52

Relax, you've wounded it and made it vulnerable. It's going to be too busy fending off all the other spiders trying to eat it to give you much mind.

False_Stupidity 41

Sunday 8 March 2015 2:53

Ah, but the other spiders will then come after OP and no mere couch will stop them!

150493x 29

Sunday 8 March 2015 1:59

You can sleep anywhere you want, it won't stop that ****** coming for you in your sleep.

rockwrench 18

Sunday 8 March 2015 4:46

Too funny #42.

Sammy_rawrr 13

Sunday 8 March 2015 2:07

Well, that's unfortunate..

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The Top

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You deserved it 8 930

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I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 671

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 13 165

You deserved it 65 140

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I agree, your life sucks 1 772

You deserved it 141

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I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 77

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I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 120

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I agree, your life sucks 48 258

You deserved it 4 869

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I agree, your life sucks 8 856

You deserved it 65 713