Love: Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year, "Why is someone...

By sprocket - 28/02/2009 18:55 - Hong Kong

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year, "Why is someone as smart, funny and as handsome as you with someone like me?" He replied, "Opposites attract." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 081

You deserved it 28 956

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Same thing different taste

Backhanded insult?

By Mandy - 07/06/2010 19:27 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about our past relationships. He told me that he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was smart and he suited someone who was quite stupid. He then went on to say that I was perfect for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 553

You deserved it 6 735

So romantic

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 05:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him why he was with me. His answer was, "Well, the last girl I dated was really smart and she always made me feel dumb, so I decided to switch things up a bit. You make me feel like a genius, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 586

You deserved it 8 047

Types

By aphre - 18/03/2009 12:35 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend of over a year and I were discussing how neither of us is the other's usual "type". I explained that I usually go for insular asshole types and then asked him what made me different from his usual choices. He said "Oh, well, I usually go for the attractive ones." FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 862

You deserved it 11 898

Nice dude

By ThroatSlasher - 17/08/2015 19:20 - United Kingdom - Grimsby

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 987

You deserved it 2 456

By NotCuteEnough - 24/08/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 584

You deserved it 7 742

By ... - 16/06/2013 20:57 - South Africa - Port Elizabeth

Today, my boyfriend and I talked about our past relationships. He said he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was "too smart" for him, and that he felt better being with someone who "doesn't have too many lights on upstairs, if you know what I mean." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 388

You deserved it 6 191

By Rejected. - 22/11/2009 17:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend of one year when an attractive girl walks over. She asks him, "Is this your girlfriend?" He replied "That depends... are you single?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 377

You deserved it 3 922

By Fluory - 07/12/2009 14:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I chose to date him. After going on for five minutes about how unique and funny he is, I ask him the same question. His reply? "You were the first person to ask me out." He then rolled over and fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 164

You deserved it 3 965

Standards

By Lily - 23/03/2009 01:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he said he needed to be with someone smart so that he could impress his parents. I just got accepted into medical school. When I pointed that out to him, he added that he needed to be with someone attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 741

You deserved it 4 675

Get it on, bang a gong

By Anonymous - 12/09/2019 15:00 - Bulgaria - Sofia

Today, I'm dating the perfect guy. He's smart, considerate, charming, funny, good looking and we have a ton of interests in common. He also can't get it up. At all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 739

You deserved it 237

billykafka 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 23:10

If you took his response seriously you're ****** up.

alwaysalady 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 23:57

He was clearly joking, but you shouldn't fish for compliments. Its unattractive.

Comments

elfuzzo 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 18:17

You asked him a joke question and he gave you a joke response. Cool.

madame_malfoy 4

Friday 6 March 2009 14:21

don't complain...you asked...

nafiul93 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 3:55

he has a badass sense of humor hahaha hope he was kidding tho

tronic 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 17:54

you should be happy, dudes like that are keepers.

manfuckyou 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 15:23

good one!

ScrambledEggs 0

Monday 30 March 2009 8:17

Got to admit, that was a good one. Hahaha. He's a keeper. XD

blueworld_fml 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 5:37

Uh..that doesn't work. It's not funny. Wrong answer, boyfriend of a year. Probly some issues to work out there, no?

24788 6

Wednesday 29 April 2009 16:05

Maybe he doesn't care about looks as much as others. He can find the true beauty inside.

VroomVroomVroom 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 21:54

LOL

bigraws23 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 5:31

Ba- ba- ba- ba- BURN!!!!!!!

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The Top

Today, my boss fired me because someone hacked our website and replaced pictures of our products with furry porn (don’t Google it, it’s weird as fuck). We don’t have an IT department, but since I spend the most time on the computer controlling stock and purchases, he blamed me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 661

You deserved it 161

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said, "You know? I like little girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 358

You deserved it 61 100

The Top

Today, my grandpa told my mom that he needs to rewrite his will soon. I jokingly said that I was going to be stinking rich when he passes away. He retorted that he's never forgiven me for rear-ending his car six years ago, and because of this, I'll never see a penny of his money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 262

You deserved it 34 077

Today, I decided to impress my friends by doing a flip on the trampoline. What did impress them, was my lack of tears after I hit the edge of the trampoline and broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 773

You deserved it 7 036

Today, I realized that I ran out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 103

You deserved it 6 938

Today, a woman at the retirement home I work at told me she was new and asked me a few questions. I asked her when she moved in. She was a new coworker, not a new resident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 741

You deserved it 12 921

Today, I was bringing a table a bowl of soup at my waitressing job. A new customer taking off his coat threw his elbow out, violently knocking the soup out of my hands and onto his baby in a highchair. The baby screamed; I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 144

Today, at work, I fell asleep. This is how I discovered that when I'm sleeping, and am scared awake by my boss with an air horn, I yelp louder than a terrier and piss my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 753

You deserved it 49 299