Health: Today, I have an autoimmune disease which causes my penis to...

By Damm - 24/01/2009 19:05 - United States

Today, I have an autoimmune disease which causes my penis to look like a tie-dye t shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 353

You deserved it 2 763

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/03/2016 14:36 - United States - Arlington

Today, my acne reached a new low. Literally. I'm now getting bright red pimples on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 788

You deserved it 2 845

By dawg3360 - 07/06/2009 06:02 - Canada

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 636

You deserved it 134 185

By maturity - 08/04/2013 00:30 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 986

You deserved it 64 241

By Curt - 06/09/2009 18:19 - United States

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 882

You deserved it 9 402

What a feeling!

By numbcrumb - 18/09/2017 23:15

Today, I discovered I have a condition that causes loss of feeling in my clitoris during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 926

You deserved it 301

By man-period? - 02/03/2016 06:48 - United States - Portland

Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 428

You deserved it 1 626

By BYUwildchild - 17/12/2010 16:23 - United States

Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 944

You deserved it 3 525

By Anonymous - 16/12/2011 14:25 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 178

You deserved it 40 080

By Anonymous - 28/01/2016 16:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I was diagnosed with a condition that makes me lactate. I'm a 6' tattooed guy with a boxing competition coming up soon. I'm never going to hear the end of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 383

You deserved it 1 824

What's up, doc?

By Anonymous - 07/04/2018 05:00

Today, I went to the doctor because of the redness and swelling of my penis, hoping that it was just a minor rash or allergic reaction. Nope! According to the doctor, who could barely stop herself from laughing, it's good old-fashioned friction burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 042

You deserved it 1 985

poisenoreo46 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 3:16

groovy baby

BetaGirl 0

Saturday 21 February 2009 1:44

what no pic?

Comments

gigilvrs6 0

Monday 18 October 2010 3:23

Peace out.

doubleeL 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 20:35

feel the rainbow. blow the rainbow.

starberries 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 3:42

It might look tie-dyed but I really doubt it looks like a T-shirt.

stingrayas 0

Thursday 18 November 2010 17:27

THATS SICK I WANT A COLOURFUL PENIS MINES JuST PlAIN OlD BROWN LOL

kawaiisweetbunny 0

Saturday 22 January 2011 11:12

;D I wouldn't mind

gaypride559 0

Sunday 23 January 2011 16:17

pictures? we need proof!

sumrem 0

Friday 4 February 2011 3:32

WIN

Moo_Horse 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 0:15

fgo to a costume part as a hippie and say its part of your costume.

Csar 0

Friday 18 March 2011 10:31

Rainbow dick dieses?

Bizenghastly 0

Friday 20 May 2011 23:17

his penis must be prettiii ^_^

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I met up with a guy from Bumble for a first date. An hour in, he asks me, "What's your take on body odor?" He proceeds to tell me about his intimate relationship with his body odor and how his armpits take on the scents of his lovers' lady bits. He added that the "essence" of his ex often returns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 64

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 229

You deserved it 6 619

The Top

Today, while clearing stuff out of the basement, I found my ex-wife's old electronic diary device from the '90s. I found the charger, powered it up, and had soon read all about out she'd been cheating on me for almost half our marriage with the guy she's now married to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 617

You deserved it 3 684

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 059

You deserved it 3 211

Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 738

You deserved it 60 930

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old sister, naked, streaming herself eating a banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 359

You deserved it 1 410

Today, I went shopping with my parents. Halfway through, I got separated from them and tried to call them only to find out my cell phone battery was flat. A few minutes later, an announcement was made for a lost child. It was by my parents. I'm 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 161

You deserved it 5 212

Today, I got turned down for my dream job. Why? Because my ex phoned the company and told them how bad I would be for the job. He phoned me and said, "Now you know how it feels to be turned down." We dated for 2 weeks, 11 years ago. I'm now married and haven't spoken to him since we broke up, so I guess he's been stalking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 461

You deserved it 124

Same thing different taste

What a feeling!

What's up, doc?

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