Miscellaneous: Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to... - FML

By oxjessiiox - 11/10/2009 15:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 170

You deserved it 29 811

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/11/2015 15:28 - United States - Jamestown

Today, I was in a play and had a battle scene. I got a little too into it and wound up twisting my ankle. The audience was treated to me screaming like a little girl before face-planting the stage a moment later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 433

You deserved it 3 539

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 01:00 - Netherlands - Zwijndrecht

Today, I was rehearsing for a school play. My drama teacher keeps criticising the part where I fake-trip, saying I make it look terribly fake. During today's rehearsal, I actually tripped for real, and smashed my kneecaps against the floor with a scream. He still said my "acting" sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 508

You deserved it 2 905

By seussical65 - 14/04/2009 13:48 - United States

Today, during dress rehearsal before the show, I came in with crutches pretending I broke my leg as a joke. I then threw away the crutches, laughed and then fell down some stairs. I am now in crutches with a broken leg. I was the lead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 736

You deserved it 93 504

By Nurse - 31/08/2018 15:00

Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 874

You deserved it 750

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 763

You deserved it 40 903

By gassy - 29/12/2012 09:32 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 479

You deserved it 4 625

Theater kid

By juliet - 06/04/2009 04:39 - Canada

Today, my theatre teacher made me go on stage even though I had a violent stomach flu. My understudies were unreachable, and she threatened to fail me if I did not perform. Halfway through the first act, I vomited on the first row. She failed me for letting the cast down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133 225

You deserved it 6 299

By superman_not - 10/06/2009 15:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to play the role of Superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 860

You deserved it 7 353

Inappropriate Billy Joel

By Anonymous - 18/04/2016 19:28 - United States - Carlisle

Today, I performed a piano piece at a school play. Everything went well until I got up and accidentally smashed my shin against one of the piano legs. Before I could bite my tongue, I'd already yelled "Fucking hell!" in front of about 50 second graders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 788

You deserved it 5 164

By anonymous - 16/09/2011 17:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a graded performance in my drama class. I had to play a murderer in an interrogation room. I got really into it and started pounding on the windows to try to "escape". The thin glass smashed. Four hours in casualty, stitches and plastic surgery pretty much sum up my mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 369

You deserved it 9 337

Next

Top comments

Sweny 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 20:17

Fyl,shit happens :P

YDIxLol 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 20:17

Ouch, that sucks... But it's a little funny. :)

Comments

bre_zip_it_up13 11

Sunday 11 October 2009 23:13

that is so shitty

epicwinmaster 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 23:37

yeah lots of women poop while having a baby. my mom told me was scared that she might when she had my sister. but she didnt. its the luck of the draw.

beachy__keen 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 23:40

shoulda prairie dogged it. either that or worn a diaper. apparently intense acting makes the shit hit the fan.

dspadres 0

Monday 12 October 2009 0:10

Unfortunately that was the best part of the play.

lahp 0

Monday 12 October 2009 0:23

why cant you people crap before you do something important.. e.g. child birth or pretend child birth.. I swear to god i haven't crapped my self since i was in nappies! god sorry to be a bitch i really am but if you crap your self your retarded... simple.. plan... done...(unless obviously its medical issue)

onlysoph 0

Monday 12 October 2009 0:38

Well once you're in labour, you can't exactly go to the bathroom. And even if you go to the bathroom beforehand, the hormones make you need to poop even more. It happens to most women during childbirth, so STFU and stop being a bitch. OP probably should have pooped beforehand, but whatever. Shit happens.

Witchcraft_fml 4

Monday 12 October 2009 3:02

Really? You think women can really think about taking a crap when they're lying on a hospital bed in pain from contractions, and a baby trying to make its way out their vag? Think before you decide to make embarrassing comments.

theatregrl2 0

Monday 12 October 2009 8:06

#71, don't go calling people retarded when you fail at easy grammar. "You're retarded" not "your retarded"

mrda 0

Monday 12 October 2009 0:38

Mustve been a shitty play.

jhon316 0

Monday 12 October 2009 0:49

omg i was lmfao when i read this omg so sad for u but funny to everyone else

i_stay_anonymous 0

Monday 12 October 2009 1:14

How can you not see that coming? You deserve it! You must be really really stupid.

Hillbilly_Deluxe 3

Monday 12 October 2009 1:22

how many people noticed?

shuttuplily 0

Monday 12 October 2009 3:05

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And the screenname is just ''poop'' hahahaha

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Today, I embarrassed myself and my husband at the wedding of one of his rich cousins by trying caviar for the first time, finding it unbearably disgusting, choking, spitting it out all over the table, and downing three glasses of water to stop myself coughing. Now they think I’m common as muck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 654

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The Top

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Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

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I agree, your life sucks 21 742

You deserved it 1 764

Today, I got a second piercing in my ear. I needed help cleaning the back, so I asked my dad for help. I told him to careful, but right when I did, he tore the earring out with the cotton swab. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 513

You deserved it 360

Today, "Community" was pulled from its mid-season lineup, with plans to hopefully put it back on the schedule at some unknown time. It will probably be canceled. Meanwhile, "Whitney" is still on the air and doing fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 716

You deserved it 7 707