Miscellaneous: Today, I got a text from my ex boyfriend telling me he hopes...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By MikaykayUnicorn - 19/04/2016 00:58 - United States - Newcastle

Today, I got a text from my ex boyfriend telling me he hopes I get a hamster shoved up my asshole so far I cough up blood. All I asked was for him to delete my number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

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Management Work Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Relatable Healthy Lifestyle Health Gifts Mother in law Birthday Family Money Public freakouts Education Parents Students Exams Pranks Weird Love Argument AITA Insects Fear Cats Skincare Job interview Jealousy Coworkers

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Today, after 5 years of dating and not even so much as a hint of a ring on the horizon, I asked my boyfriend why he hasn’t proposed yet. His response was “Babe, I’m not gonna pay for the cow when I get the milk for free.” What does that even mean? FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 476

Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only woman out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 647

You deserved it 3 115

The Top

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wear makeup much. Expecting him to say something about my natural beauty, I replied with an honest "no." His smiled softly, gently squeezed my shoulder, and said, "Maybe you should." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 463

You deserved it 3 747

Today, I saw my train pulling in to the station. I sprinted up the stairs and luckily made the train. I looked around and no one was in my compartment. I began to notice that the train was heading down some tracks I'd never been too. I got stuck on an empty train for 3 hours in the train garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 550

You deserved it 15 034

Today, I still get irrationally angry and distracted when my teacher refers to bodily functions as “poop, pee, number 1 & 2, etc.” and calls things icky. I’m literally in nursing school with an instructor who talks like Elmo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 142

Today, after my wife and and her family often complained about refugees around town and never donated a cent, even blaming a church fire on them, I thought they were just stingy and racist, but now they're donating and even offering their spare houses to refugees from Ukraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 267

Today, since I always fall asleep in class, I decided not to go to the bathroom beforehand, hoping the need to pee would keep me awake. I ended up falling asleep and wetting myself in the middle of the lecture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 846

You deserved it 7 243

Today, my mother brought over some early Christmas presents for me and the kids. The kid's presents were fine, mine however consisted of many yard accessories, including solar lights. I live in an apartment building with no yard. Her response? "Buy a potted plant and shove them in there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 057

You deserved it 2 636