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People do marry people they want to stay with forever. But then real life happens, circumstances and people change, and it can become impossible to be together without being miserable. Check your judgemental, ignorant, uninformed attitude, dude. Let people handle their own affairs without being sneered at.

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#2 and #13, the point of alimony is that you give money because they need it. If he's buying things that aren't necessities, then it looks like she's just losing that much money.

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Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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People do marry people they want to stay with forever. But then real life happens, circumstances and people change, and it can become impossible to be together without being miserable. Check your judgemental, ignorant, uninformed attitude, dude. Let people handle their own affairs without being sneered at.

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If they didn't want their affairs sneered at they shouldn't have posted the public FML to begin with. Yeah people change and circumstances happen, that's when you need to adapt. Marriage takes work and adaptation, but most people don't look that far ahead when getting married which is why the divorce rate is so high. It's the easy way out when things get bad. Nobody actually wants to work and be selfless anymore. If you can't make a commitment that's meant to last a lifetime don't make a co

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Alimony is not to supply the basic necessities of life, its to keep both people living in the life style they are used to. Thats why when millionaires get divorced the wife (or husband if the wife is the rich one) gets millions. If alimony was just for the necessities then this would really suck. It still does suck for the OP, but by law, he can spend his money or whatever he wants. Its not like child support that has to go to the kids (theoretically) OP can at least take comfort in knowing

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I'm not an expert either, but I think if the male is the unemployed spouse or non-worker, if t here's a divorce, the female has to pay him for doing..nothing? Not totally sure, but it's sort of like child support without the children.

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why would alimony payment depend on gender?? if a woman is unemployed - otherwise known as house-wife - and there's a divorce then she's still entitled to a certain level of financial support. marriage MEANS something people. there are consequences to getting it wrong.

By  camis

What, does he have to spend it on something you approve of? Or is he not supposed to get on with his life and buy cool stuff? He's not your husband anymore, who cares.

And? It's his money now so he can do what he wants with it. *pfft* that's like my ex-husband trying to tell me what I can spend the child support money on. Well it would be if he actually paid any child support money!

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No actually, the paying spouse can't dictate what the money is spent on. I could (hypothetically) spent the non-existent child support on cask wine and gigolos if I chose to. Technically MY money is already being spent on housing, food, education, clothing and the like so any child support just gets added to the household budget to be spent as needed. We don't have alimony here so I don't understand it - why support someone, when there isn't a child, when they could get a job or go on ben

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It gets even better than that, thequickredofox, here is the US, we have 50 different sets of divorce laws. Alimony used to be a foreign concept in Texas, but they added it recently if you've been married for at least 10 years. That law came into effect after I had been married 10-1/2 years. Wah-wah-waaaaahhhh! I know a guy who pays child support to his ex. She has no job, a new car and his kid is on a steady diet of Ramen noodles. The US Justice System in neither just nor a system. Disc

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Thequickredofox, take him to court and make him pay. My aunt and her husband dumped their kids on my grandparents, and their father never paid child support. Only recently did my grandparents take him to court to get the money. They got quite a bit, but they could have gotten a lot more because they took him to court after my cousins had already turned 18.

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First, child support is supposed to go to the welfare of the children, and in a situation where your ex-spouse were to go to court and argue that the child support was in fact being spent on jigalos, the court could easily downward modify the payment amounts. Its called child support for a reason, how sad is it in a divorce that we piss and moan about getting "money we deserve" and then demand that we get to "spend it however the hell I want it, I deserve it" Nice that in all

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Fathers4justice.com That shit happens way to often. Yes, it is true, there are a lot of deadbeat dads out there, but there are just as many deadbeat moms. The difference? The mom has to practically beat the child to death, be a drug addict, and be homeless before Social Services takes the child. The father has to pay support regardless if the mother lets him see the child. And if the father gets accused of any of these actions, he is treated in a "Guilty until proven innocent" mann

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BrilliantBarbie and laut are gods among FMLs. As BB said, both partners have to invest into a marriage, if one is investing money and the other time, then if they break up, the partner investing the time is screwed; if you're 35, never worked, don't have a degree, and your main skills are sex and cooking, it's VERY unlikely that you'll be able to make enough money to support you. And laut is right too - in divorces, the man is always guilty until proven innocent.

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@brilliantbarbie - I think you're missing my biting sarcasm! Summary: my ex-husband was a gambling addict. I supported him financially for our entire marriage. I work, always have, always will. I can't take him to court because a: it costs too much money and b: you can't get blood out of a stone. Child support is about paying your "part" of the cost of an upkeep of your biological child (at least here it is) so unless the paying spouse can prove the child is starving and barefoot, t

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@meandonlyme: I'm in Australia - the worst that happens here is he could be stopped from leaving the country and they can garnish his tax return if he's owed one. If he was employed (legally and on the books) it could be garnished from wages, or if he was on benefits it could be garnished from them. Not sure I'd want him sent to jail. That would mean that my tax dollars would be spent housing him *lol* That's a lose-lose situation, how are they meant to earn money to pay child support from ja

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@Plexico. Damn, with that quick wit and charm, I would have pegged you for the couch moocher in the divorce. It's not too late to ride the barcalounger with pride and appeal that support order!!

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Here in Canada they usually do not throw you in jail for not making payments. I got $25 the other day and it went to food. My ex asked if he can have the money back (it was taken out of his bank account) he does that every time FMEP "steals" his money. Yup that winner accuses FMEP for stealing his money. They don't even try to hard to get money usually. Kind of shocked I got the $25 dollars.

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Actually, it isn't her money once it's redirected towards him. Child support, Alimony, call it what you want, all garnishments/ deductions from HER paycheck, meaning it's moeny SHE can't keep, in short, if she wasn't such a fucking bitch and wanted to divorce or sue a guy claiming to have no job, she wouldn't have ended up in this predicament. OP, your fault from the beginning. Get over it, you got what you deserved, bitch.

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Really??? and I bet your the K-Fed advocate of the world then right??? OR ARE YOU K-FED, because it wouldnt surprise me that you'd be on here with all the spare time you got getting fatter and lazier. First, we don't know what caused the divorce...and obviously since this is about alimony and NOT about child support, I think its safe to say he just sat on his ass all day....trying to figure out how to get a flat-screen to watch, buying an ipod to listen to, and betting a digital camera to

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it could equally go both way all of you are fucking retarded id say im going to have to assume OP fucked uo because iv been to court many time for family and the judge always ruled based off of two things either a one jackass was bein rude as fuck to the judge prior to sentencing or the evidence clearly stated that the person in question is an asshole so im sorry to say that i think OP probably has it coming cause a judge wouldnt sentence her to pay allimony if the guy shows the appearance of be

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FYI my fiances ex-wife made a mockery of marriage (cheated on him with several guys to get her drug fix) and she could have gotten him to pay alimony. So, this divorce was her fault yet he would have to support her drug habit? He did not cheat on her at all just so you know. He just messed up and married a whore.

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Way to assume, what has made you some how know that he just sits on his ass? just because he bought some shit he wanted he is now just some lazy fuck that sits around all day. I guarantee he has a job to pay for his house car ect ect. Use you head asshole

hey... for the first time ever its a woman bitching about where her money goes and not the other way around. I hate this law... its utter garbage, my uncle can barely survive because he has to give 2/3 to his ex wife, and he still has their 2 kids. She recently took a trip to the bahamas with his money, and his friend. FhisL... not yours what he spends that money on isnt of your concern

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