Love: Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed...

By PissyPants - 20/06/2010 05:12 - United States

Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 222

You deserved it 29 340

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Same thing different taste

By RitaDahhlinnnng - 25/08/2009 23:56 - United States

Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 003

You deserved it 10 821

Sprinkler

By shelly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 901

You deserved it 7 553

By hollysofly - 15/01/2011 07:38 - United States

Today, I went on the first date of my life. I also burped during my first kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 181

You deserved it 7 939

By Killme - 13/07/2016 02:10

Today, as a birthday present, my friends threw a surprise party for me. I was so surprised, I pissed myself in front of everyone, including my crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 132

You deserved it 2 104

By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 541

You deserved it 5 198

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 660

You deserved it 9 503

By alf - 27/10/2008 02:34 - France

Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 880

You deserved it 7 257

A real ******

By never again - 30/11/2019 01:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I like, but I had to pee really bad. It got really wet down there, and he thought I squirted. I peed everywhere. I let him believe he made me squirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 370

You deserved it 747

By ac-hoo - 04/02/2012 14:52 - India

Today, the man of my dreams kissed me. It was everything I had imagined it would be until in the middle of the kiss, he burped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 722

You deserved it 3 843

By Anonymous - 20/11/2010 15:46 - United States

Today, I took my driver's test. I was so nervous that I peed my pants halfway through the exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 151

You deserved it 17 239

tencentsakiss 19

Sunday 20 June 2010 12:14

Puppys also piss when excited. Are you sure you aren't really a puppy? Bad dog! Get off the Internet.

superbadd 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 13:06

mah first kiss went a little this *muah* then piss *ssss* *ssss* then piss :D

Comments

Sunnybabe101 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 17:35

haha wow it's spelled douche

animesoulreaper7 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 17:40

agreed

stewpididiot 11

Sunday 20 June 2010 17:52

Is this an FML ? Depends!!!!

datdominicankid 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 17:54

last time i heard of anybody peein was my 5 yr old son and dat was about. 2 yrs ago

linzb752 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 17:56

what are you? a puppy?

hmcphee13 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 18:05

wow um loser. an how old r u op?

livyyyy 0

Friday 22 April 2011 22:37

mean!

fawcett 3

Sunday 20 June 2010 18:14

hahahaha u beat

d4m4s74 12

Sunday 20 June 2010 18:15

Why do women piss themselves with every emotion? scared: piss myself happy: piss myself shock: piss myself laughing: piss myself etc.

lilkim_fml 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 18:16

haha lo'd at your comment:) im a girl though... :)

lilkim_fml 0

Monday 21 June 2010 14:29

*lol'd

ninjasaurous 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 18:18

superbadd ftw!!!! I love that song but i like your version better XD

superbadd 0

Monday 21 June 2010 3:19

Ty lady

nobodyofnothing 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 18:31

someone started getting wet and hott lmao

Keywords

Facebook Work Social Media Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Virginity Painful School Health Awkward Dating Tinder Love Skincare Anxiety Relatable Sextoys Poopoo peepee Art Kids Birthday Covid Relationship advice Transportation Cars Gross Family Neighbours Lonely

The Top

Today, my grandpa forgot that my aunt set up a baby monitor in his bedroom in case of a fall. I’m sitting in the living room with his wife - who is deaf - and I hear him moaning over the baby monitor. My grandfather was jerking off and forgot that someone could hear him. I wish I could forget too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 657

You deserved it 130

Today, to spice things up a bit, my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner, so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 101

You deserved it 36 910

The Top

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 632

You deserved it 1 077

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 903

You deserved it 2 540

Today, I had to explain very slowly to my mum why she cannot put metal cutlery in the microwave. She did it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 266

You deserved it 2 984

Today, I discovered that yes, you CAN forget how to ride a bike. Too bad I discovered this in front of all my son's friends and their parents while at his birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 026

You deserved it 1 427

Today, my boyfriend said, "You know who you remind me of? Sarah Palin." And then for the next 15 minutes continued to discuss how ugly she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 305

You deserved it 3 691

Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 689

You deserved it 7 899

Same thing different taste

Sprinkler

A real ******

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