Work: Today, I decided to clean my room, find a job and ask a girl... - FML

By Noname - 16/01/2009 23:19 - Canada

Today, I decided to clean my room, find a job and ask a girl on a date. I ended up playing video games online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 286

You deserved it 45 048

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Dating sucks

By Anonymous - 26/02/2023 06:00

Today, I spent three hours cleaning my apartment for a date. I then took a nap, only to wake up to find my cat had destroyed the place. Lucky for me, my date never showed up, and I ended the evening drinking Prosecco while sadly swiping through Tinder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 137

By OhNo - 22/01/2016 21:28 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I accidentally stood up my first date ever. How? I spent all of last night cleaning my parents' house for extra spending money to make sure the date went perfect, but I ended up sleeping through the alarm as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 554

You deserved it 3 546

Productive

By Anonymous - 04/05/2023 22:00 - Sweden

Today, in an effort to actually be productive for once, I decided to clean out my closet. However, I ended up getting distracted by old photos, started crying over past relationships and dead pets, and didn't end up getting anything done whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 401

By leapple - 14/03/2010 01:17 - United States

Today, I spent 2 hours doing my hair, doing my make-up, and picking out an outfit to meet some men. On chatroulette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 728

You deserved it 37 287

Good night, sleep tight

By jjkk - 23/01/2021 05:02

Today, I have been trying to stop sleeping during the day, so I decided to clean my room to keep myself awake. Four hours later, I woke up on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 131

By SharpDressedMan - 13/11/2018 06:00 - United States - Leesburg

Today, I spent almost nine hours cleaning because I was promised I could go to junior prom if my room was cleaned. I missed a dust bunny and couldn't go. I had a date for this, who I'd had a crush on for over a year and barely managed to ask to go with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 107

You deserved it 333

By yourmomsabitch - 25/06/2011 04:30 - United States

Today, I was supposed to go on a date. I have been playing solitaire the whole night waiting for him. Out of 15 games, I've won one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 542

You deserved it 5 091

Loveshack

By MoodKilled - 04/11/2023 09:00

Today, my girlfriends and I had planned a movie night. When she got home, she took her laptop and some snacks we prepared, and spent the evening playing online games. When I asked if I should wait for her, she told me to go and "watch some shit on Netflix, I don't really care" without looking away from the laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 88

See ya

By marriageblows - 22/01/2012 02:18 - United States

Today, I had the day off from work. I did all the chores hoping to free up time to spend with my husband tonight. When he came home, he looked around and decided that since there was no need for him to stick around and help clean, he'd head to the bar to watch the game with the guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 319

You deserved it 3 870

By Username - 23/12/2010 10:50

Today, I asked a girl I liked what she was doing tomorrow night. She replied, "Cleaning, so nothing really." I then asked her out to dinner. She declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 978

You deserved it 4 789

Next

Top comments

Derzimma 2

Tuesday 24 February 2009 16:08

Happened to me the other day.

rxxk 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 4:35

That's sorta what I did today. I planned on studying for my test tomorrow, finish my homework due tomorrow, and make an outline for my website idea. I ended up reading Fmylife for 6 hours straight.

Comments

lonerftl 3

Wednesday 27 May 2009 0:18

Hmm I can't remember me typing that.... oh wait I didn't Just remember "small steps."

xTiDWoPx 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 3:41

Sounds like me on a good day:)

boarder_140 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 5:12

You need to get laid

siddyslackah 0

Monday 3 January 2011 5:32

gotta get married first

butteredbuns 0

Friday 5 June 2009 4:18

I did that today, aswell.... Fml and fyl

Violet_X 3

Friday 26 June 2009 9:27

Woo video games @! Find a chick to play with you. lol o.o

Shyman4ever 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 0:19

Happens to everyone all the time. But you had a perfect opportunity but you ****** up and YDI

thecure_fml 0

Friday 10 July 2009 23:37

Wow loser

amyrenee2413 0

Friday 24 July 2009 10:05

LOL sorry to laugh, but I do the same everyday!!!

monkey314159 0

Sunday 26 July 2009 0:01

test

Dillon13 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 10:02

LMFAO...I've been supposed to clean my room for the passed like, 3 days. After I clean my room I should be able to go hang out with my friends... I've played video games all day on all of those days.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my dad uttered the dreaded words, “Now don’t worry boy, I knows exactly what I is doing.” A few short minutes later he has a destroyed impact drill, my ladder is snapped, my kitchen window is broken, my wife is in hospital for stitches, and we can’t find the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 66

Today, I had to call social services after a couple once again brought their baby in with severe allergic reactions. His allergy? The family dog. These idiots would rather let their kid die than get rid of the stupid mutt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 119

The Top

Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 784

You deserved it 3 683

Today, I learned that my boyfriend has narcolepsy when we were having sex and he passed out on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 586

You deserved it 4 085

Today, I got to my underground parking garage at work and saw my boss pulling into a spot. I thought I would show him my reverse parking skills and decided to park beside him. As I was pulling in he opened his door to get out and I smashed into it, nearly running him over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 475

You deserved it 70 316

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 990

You deserved it 5 473

Today, I told my crush that I liked her a lot. She told me not to message her when I'm drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 526

You deserved it 2 731

Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 959

You deserved it 4 737