Kids: Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our... - FML

By Laura - 30/11/2010 03:03

Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 044

You deserved it 5 374

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By catbum - 10/11/2016 03:54 - Canada - Regina

Today, I accidentally shoved my finger up my cat's butt while trying to push him off my nightstand in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 552

You deserved it 1 467

Oldest trick in the book

By Anonymous - 22/12/2022 15:00

Today, I have to admit I sometimes snoop in my daughter's room, but she must have realised this because she has started laying booby traps for me. I'm currently in the ER getting fishing hooks removed from my hand after she taped them to a mousetrap and left the mousetrap inside her desk drawer. I deserve it but, FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 2 162

By upliftmofo - 28/03/2011 05:56 - Belgium

Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 654

You deserved it 5 978

By BeatenUpPup - 18/05/2009 12:22 - Canada

Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face painting station, she sat down and asked for a kitty on her face. Next, she shoved me on a chair and whispered something into the lady's ear. I ended up with a 'black eye' by request of my own daughter. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 203

You deserved it 5 799

Home improvement

By ... - 27/07/2014 05:51 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 301

You deserved it 5 379

By gbabyy - 22/11/2009 03:25 - United States

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 744

You deserved it 6 889

Apex predator

By Ihatestraycats - 22/07/2023 12:00

Today, after we finished making my 6 year-old daughter a net to catch an injured baby bird, when she went out to catch it she witnessed a stray cat catch and eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 148

By maruskasommers - 09/01/2012 09:39 - Czech Republic

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 302

You deserved it 2 706

Primitive art

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 00:30

Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 294

By Anonymous - 28/08/2013 21:29 - Canada - Oshawa

Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 760

You deserved it 3 155

Next

Top comments

dillies 3

Tuesday 30 November 2010 9:01

maybe she thought it was a pencil sharpener?

FerrariCake 2

Tuesday 30 November 2010 9:02

You didnt say how old your daughter is. That matters. If she is 6 years old, this behavior indicates the child should see a therapist. If she is 19 years old, this behavior indicates she should contact a **** talent agency.

Comments

DaniLand 0

Monday 23 May 2011 0:09

She was just doing what she saw mommy and daddy doing last night!

hateevryone 14

Friday 24 June 2011 3:24

that is hilarious

esfox83 17

Wednesday 27 July 2011 2:28

atleast it wasn't her finger right?

oilfan11 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 0:46

Thats so wierd

emqueen 1

Thursday 28 June 2012 7:02

How old is she?

hahatofunny 20

Saturday 19 January 2013 18:53

Hahaha that's funny, and kinda gross

TheImaginarySong 16

Thursday 18 July 2013 22:09

F the cat's life not yours!!

clazedaze 1

Wednesday 8 January 2014 14:31

Be a better parent Jesus that's animal cruelty

blondie147 10

Monday 27 January 2014 23:33

Unfortunately behavior like this is common for children with autism.

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I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 280

You deserved it 49 812

The Top

Today, my supervisor told me off for doing something. When I reminded her that she told me to do it, she yelled at me for correcting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 334

You deserved it 155

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 048

You deserved it 6 312

Today, I told my parents I'm pregnant. I got a long lecture from my mom about using protection. It would have been fine hearing all that, but I'm turning 22, I moved out a few years ago, have a full time job with great benefits, and am getting married next summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 694

You deserved it 4 491

Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 112

You deserved it 441

Today, I found out that my friends finally scheduled their wedding. The entire friend group of the groom, which I am part of, is in the wedding. Except me. If I go I’ll have to watch my boyfriend, who is a groomsman, walk down the aisle with one of the bride’s friends on his arm while I sit alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 913

You deserved it 714

Today, my grandparents were staying over my house for a couple of nights. As I was walking to my bathroom in the middle of the night, I noticed their door was open, and my grandfather was awake. I tried to say 'Hi' to him, but he didn't hear me. I then noticed that he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 831

You deserved it 5 622