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OP never said he paid for every dinner, coffee and drink. He just said after months of dinners, coffee and drinks.

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I don't think the girl needed telling... the behaviour of the opposite sex is not a mystery requiring intricate solving! If a guy has 'spent nights with you' along with said dates etc, does not blatantly exhibit behaviour that would make you think you are not exclusive... you have to be blind to take that as friendship only, unless mutually agreed otherwise. I take this as a very conscious decision on her part. Lastly if OP truly did not intend on being exclusive with her, this situation would

She probably thought you were just being a good friend. You should have told her how you felt OP. I'm sorry you lost her though.

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When did it become required to be exclusive/committed to each other to spend the night together (sexual or not)? If the OP never expressed his feelings, it's his fault.

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Getting meals together and having sex sounds likes relationship to me. Yeah, maybe she didn't think it was exclusive, but I don't think OP was in the wrong for assuming that it was.

Sure, it's disappointing when you don't get the person you want. Maybe you should have been honest about your feelings/intentions sooner. But just because you spent your time and possibly money on her, doesn't guarantee that she'll want to end up with you/won't change her mind as she gets to know you/won't meet the guy of her dreams, who turns out not to be you. Just be glad you weren't in a relationship with her, married, with kids, suffering from recent trauma, when she did.

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I agree with you but it seems like she was leading OP on. It does say 'spent a few nights together'. I'm assuming they are sleeping together?

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23: I agree with you that it does sound like she was leading him on if 'spent a few nights together' meant they've been sleeping with each other, but maybe she thought they were friends with benefits. One of my guy friends and a girl friend of his are friends with benefits (they also go out to dinner, drinks and movies with each other), but only until one of them meet someone else.

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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To be honest men put themselves in the "friend zone" by the way they act around there crush. Don't ever hold your feelings back. Basically grow a pair

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Then get "shut down" and find a different girl, 65. There's no magic combination to make people always say yes when you ask them out. She's allowed to not want to date you.

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Girl: You just got 10 points on your nice guy card! Time for me to give you the sex you so rightly deserve! Guy: Hot diggity!

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What's the difference between getting shot down directly or watching someone else sweep her off her feet. Either way, OP loses the girl so why not tell her how he feels.

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