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marcranger Say more :
Hey all, OP here! Glad to see I made some of you laugh...I wish I could say the same about my cousin, his wife, and my aunt and uncle (the proud first-time grandparents)! At least my dad, who I was staying with for this event (I live up in the mountains, but this was in Denver), laughed his ass off when everyone else was out of earshot and said he honestly felt the same way (and since I was a baby once...thanks, Dad?). Oh, well. At the very least, I think the new parents will avoid me like the plague at future gatherings, even ones specifically planned to honor the new addition (oops), and this might get my relatives to back off about when exactly I'm making my own contribution to the family line.
By marcranger / Monday 11 August 2014 23:40 / United States - Denver
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  brivielle  |  15

OP a baby's not a fucking 'IT'!!!!! As shocking as it may sound to you they have gender even in the womb. YDI

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  Arwen_Evenstar  |  37

Until they can walk and talk, they're definitely "IT"s. They're strange and evil creatures. Avoiding eye contact is always a good idea. Seriously, they just avoided a gender pronoun on an anonymous website, get a grip.

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  marcranger  |  28

I think you're right, 3, since I may not get invited to any more family gatherings for a while! My cousin and his wife are understandably pissed, so my major plans are lying low and apologizing after the tension's worn off some.

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  blazingshot147  |  19

@42 I know right! Barfing and pooping everywhere. Mooching off you until they're 18, plus needing school supplies. You just got supplies last year! Baby's need to get out and contribute to society more, get a job (insert baby's name here). (Before anyone has a hissy fit this is a totally sarcastic comment)

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  aire101  |  16

@49 I'm sorry your family didn't have a good sense of humor about the slip up. personally i was pretty much of the same mind that you are for a long time. I'm about to have one of my own now so I've been having to get over being uncomfortable about holding babies. personally i would have laughed it off and cracked a joke about it, but i guess others can be overly sensitive. Babies aren't for everyone!

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  amisenho  |  11

I was able to get out of holding my boyfriend's nephew when he was born by shaking the whole time I was holding him. I hate holding children (especially newborns), and I had already declined the offer to hold him, but out of pleading and begging, they placed him into my hands, anyway. Unfortunately, I started panicking; luckily, they took him from me before I could potentially drop him. I never realized it was so offensive to pass up an offer to hold a kid.

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plot twist, OP's name is Cheryl and she works for ISIS!

By  Baustigt  |  40

To be fair, babies only start to get cute a few months in. Newborns are kind of pink and wrinkly and look like prunes. We have that in common with rabbits, I think.

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  Arwen_Evenstar  |  37

This is why guinea pigs are awesome. By the time they're born they're just tiny versions of the adults. Such cute. And nope, don't need to hold a baby unless I pop one out.

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  marcranger  |  28

This one did seen particularly ugly, though maybe that's because I've never had one thrust in my face like that before. Honestly, I really can't deal with them until they're toilet-trained at minimum...before that, all I can picture when I see a very young child coming at me is something like that elevator scene from The Shining, only with poop instead of blood. :X

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  amisenho  |  11

I hear ya. One of the worst things about a new kid is all the slobber and fecal excrement. It's a wonder I have no problem holding and helping to birth newborn puppies.

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  Arwen_Evenstar  |  37

A friend's baby isn't too bad, it came out fairly chubby so by the photos of it at a week, it looked OK. I've interacted with friends kids but I don't have any desire to hold them as young babies. Better once they're a few months old. And even better as toddlers. Although, I'm not totally comfortable around kids until they're school age or so.

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  marcranger  |  28

I'm wondering the same thing! What I said was definitely closer to how I actually feel about babies, but I've successfully managed to keep that sentiment from new parents before.

By  Almost_Positive  |  18

I don't see how you possibly messed up that badly, but it gave me a good laugh. I'm sure your family will forget about it :) Now you have a story to tell your cousins baby when it grows up!

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