By dan - 25/06/2013 04:22 - United States - Phoenix

Spicy
Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML
I agree, your life sucks 56 311
You deserved it 15 373
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

perdix 29

Yeah, cucumbers suck!! They are only useful if you dunk them in a salty, acid solution or slice them finely to put over swollen eyelids. Is that what you want for your dick? You should always go with yellow condoms -- they drive the ladies . . . *lowers sunglasses* bananas.

356 13
dinosxxrawr 22

she needs to eat her vegetables.

294 10

Comments

WhiteCrimson 23

Wow, you get green condoms? Ive heard of glow in the dark and flavored but not green.

1 0
waschaffer 5

Well hey, cucumbers aren't small, so there's that at least

1 0
SweetasCandy0609 28

I would turn that into a positive OP, she said it looked like a cucumber which means she thinks that your penis is huge like a cucumber.

0 0
minidrone_fml 11

Everybody (except your girlfriend) knows that cucumbers are very healthy.

1 0
worldclassrager 39

I think colors are not the best kind to buy for now...but they do spice things up a bit...maybe you can find one that she will like...

0 0
cynical4life 4

Don't let her lie.. I'm sure she's seen plenty of em close up.

0 0
Taengoo 1

Is your girlfriend's name Jessica Jung, by any chance? :P

2 0
davek 36

The lady doth protest too much.

0 1