Miscellaneous: Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in...

By btchzloveit - 29/09/2011 12:27 - United States

Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 254

You deserved it 2 395

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Same thing different taste

By Alisha - 07/08/2012 18:04 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 169

You deserved it 2 338

By icyrebel25 - 12/11/2013 23:57 - United States - Mckinney

Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 954

You deserved it 5 234

Join in the fun

By Anonymous - 23/11/2020 11:02

Today, after discovering my grown-up kids have sent poop pictures to each other since they were teenagers, I had an epic poop that looked like a question mark. So I finally lowered myself to their level and sent a picture of it to them. It got sent to my boss by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 1 632

By assassinmaster - 04/05/2017 04:00

Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 909

You deserved it 436

By Anonymous - 09/04/2015 15:10 - United States

Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 650

You deserved it 3 867

Serial Shitter

By Anonymous - 24/10/2021 05:01 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I got an email from a colleague with a picture in it of shit on the toilet seat. The email said, "Not pointing fingers but I left you out of the last email." I pee a lot and so I use the toilet a lot. I think everyone at work thinks it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 85

By emsbuffalo - 04/01/2012 06:15 - United States

Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 215

You deserved it 3 107

Anaconda

By lizbeth - 23/05/2021 04:01

Today, I took a massive shit and flushed the toilet, but it apparently didn’t flush properly. My mom then entered the bathroom, took a picture of my shit, and showed it to everyone she knows. She doesn’t understand why I’m embarrassed, and thinks that I should instead "take pride" in my giant poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 207

Army dudes

By Anonymous - 02/12/2014 17:39 - United States - Glendale

Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 336

You deserved it 4 209

By poopexperttt - 07/09/2012 07:12 - United States

Today, my brother started a new tradition: sending me pictures of every poop he takes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 553

You deserved it 2 446

SCREAM4meeee 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 19:15

well, have you?

ceilingfans 1

Thursday 29 September 2011 19:18

Take that as a challenge. Im sure if you eat enough fruity pebbles your shit will turn rainbow.

Comments

Amy28_fml 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 0:35

did u not flush before leaving? lol

andrea1122 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 19:33

That's just so. Ugh. Im sorry they haven't kept up contact but thank you for serving our country!

viciouspanda 0

Monday 3 October 2011 5:49

Better than nothin, right? :D

viciouspanda 0

Monday 3 October 2011 5:49

Better than nothin, right? :D

KrazyLove54 0

Monday 3 October 2011 8:25

nice mom you have ???

stoneywoney 3

Tuesday 4 October 2011 0:49

And why isn't your profile pic this?

kristina1124 3

Thursday 6 October 2011 1:18

well it's awesome ur mom has a great sense of humor atleasthehe. and thanks for serving hun :)

allknowingbrony 5

Sunday 9 October 2011 22:12

What a shitty text and a crappy way to finally hear from your family.

clumsy1allday 2

Friday 21 October 2011 6:12

happens to me after two bottles of blue Gatorade. looks cool lmao. PS.. I love ur mom for that

jesse22493 0

Monday 5 December 2011 2:38

Don't get how that's an FML moment, not many people can say they've seen neon poo.

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The Top

Today, we went to disperse my father's ashes in his favorite lake. My brother was anxious to show off to his new wife, and took us to a fancy resort on the lake. He fell into the lake with my dad's ashes. Nobody laughed when he got out. Oh and as he's a stingy ass, I ended up paying for the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 121

Today, I met up with a guy from Bumble for a first date. An hour in, he asks me, "What's your take on body odor?" He proceeds to tell me about his intimate relationship with his body odor and how his armpits take on the scents of his lovers' lady bits. He added that the "essence" of his ex often returns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 63

The Top

Today, I got a text from a female friend saying, "So bored, come over, let's fuck.” Knowing her sense of humor, I laughed it off and sarcastically replied, "On my way!” About an hour later, I got a message from her husband asking what was taking me so long. They really wanted a threesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 033

You deserved it 507

Today, our family reunion began with my sister calling my brother's current crazy girlfriend by his last crazy girlfriend's name and ended with my dad telling my adopted niece that he wanted a family picture without her in it, but she could be in the next one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 303

You deserved it 814

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 878

You deserved it 10 522

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 294

You deserved it 64 692

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 652

You deserved it 29 800

Today, a wasp stung my nipple. Twice. The swelling makes it look like I'm growing a third breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 787

You deserved it 4 300