To-Do List Blues By FML Approved - 08/10/2017 21:00 So much to do, so little desire... I agree, your life sucks 440 You deserved it 106 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML I agree, your life sucks 72 073 You deserved it 18 229
Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML I agree, your life sucks 53 720 You deserved it 4 756
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML I agree, your life sucks 31 908 You deserved it 15 316
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML I agree, your life sucks 39 699 You deserved it 6 000
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 500 You deserved it 9 731
Today, while working in a kids' shop, I absent-mindedly called a small person with his mum a little man. I then hear a deep man's voice say "I'm not a little man." FML I agree, your life sucks 2 153 You deserved it 563
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is only staying with me for the present I promised him for his birthday. FML I agree, your life sucks 32 786 You deserved it 5 121
Today, I got pulled over for going a few miles per hour over the speed limit. The cop asked for my license and registration. I happened to look down at my wallet while he was processing everything and saw my license in my wallet. I gave the cop my fake I.D. FML I agree, your life sucks 8 714 You deserved it 66 275