Intimacy: Threesome

Threesome

By tkdbb11790 - 20/11/2019 14:00

Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 4 955

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Spare wheel

By Anonymous - 19/05/2020 14:00

Today, an ex of mine told me she wanted a threesome. This was great until I realised I wasn't included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 420

By Mazzam - 19/11/2008 11:33 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 273

You deserved it 18 560

By gutsforme - 11/08/2010 10:40 - New Zealand

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 380

You deserved it 4 481

By 20month dry spell - 27/09/2018 03:00

Today, my girlfriend thinks I'm sex-obsessed because of the number of times I've asked for it. I've asked exactly 3 times this year, one of which was on my birthday. She said no all 3 times. I'm usually too scared of her temper to even try. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 775

You deserved it 1 382

By BirthdayBoy - 25/09/2009 14:54 - United States

Today, I invited over my girlfriend of two years to spend my birthday night with her. Instead of a conventional wrapped birthday present, she gave me the news that she has taken a vow of chastity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 943

You deserved it 7 316

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 05/08/2023 14:00

Today, my girlfriend told me she’s visiting her male friend for her birthday. I told her I’m fine with it, but I'm really not. She’s going to spend a few days with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 883

Happy Nothing

By Cheapass - 07/11/2021 02:00

Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend didn’t get me a present, or do anything special for me, because, “The rent’s paid, you have a fridge full of groceries… What more do you want?” Later on, he asked me why did I, “look so sad?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 324

You deserved it 247

By R281780 - 14/02/2016 15:53 - United States - San Jose

Today, my girlfriend is locked in the bathroom crying because I didn't buy her anything for Valentine's Day, even though Friday, at her suggestion, we agreed not to exchange gifts because both of our birthdays are a week away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 401

You deserved it 4 166

By happybidet - 31/10/2016 13:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 708

You deserved it 880

By mylifesucks - 18/04/2009 07:20 - Netherlands

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 362

You deserved it 7 025

JasonThorn 19

Tuesday 30 January 2018 17:15

The question being misinterpreted as, "What can I say to my girlfriend to tell her I think she is not enough for me?"

Mynxie 26

Monday 29 January 2018 15:13

If I were her, I would have said yes and then say you will find someone, which would be a man. YDI

Comments

Laurea Lindroos 8

Thursday 21 November 2019 22:43

How would one ever think that is a good idea? Unless discussing it before, bringing it up like this is hurtful

SadiyaRabia 8

Friday 22 November 2019 11:48

No, sweetheart, it’s not. A threesome is just an excuse to cheat. God, you’re pathetic.

Brightside86 30

Monday 9 March 2020 18:24

Your girlfriend has a lot of growing to do. Threeesome is a standard special occasion activity. Does she care about your feelings at all?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to Tiffany's to exchange a bracelet my boyfriend had given me for our year anniversary. It was the first gift that he actually spent money on me for. The sales lady then told me that the bracelet was not a real Tiffany's item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 800

You deserved it 21 260

Today, I rang British Gas to cancel my boiler cover, as I'm totally and utterly skint. I told her the reason was I was getting divorced, moving house, losing my job, and had no income at all. She was very sympathetic, and said, "How would you like to pay your £37 cancellation fee?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 864

You deserved it 4 026

The Top

Today, my youngest son had to have stitches on his chin. He did great; I passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 522

You deserved it 7 340

Today, I began taking a French language class. After completing and submitting some homework, I got a response. A response that was completely in French. I can't understand shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 103

You deserved it 3 622

Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh, apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 840

You deserved it 2 810

Today, my sister got her retouched wedding photos. Apparently one of the things she had the professional do was edit me out of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 297

You deserved it 2 651

Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 265

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe… with my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 701

You deserved it 3 646