Miscellaneous: The blame game - FML

The blame game

By Anonymous - 12/01/2016 14:44

Today, I'm mad at my dad for forgetting it's my birthday. He's mad at me for not reminding him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 777

You deserved it 1 908

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Same thing different taste

By mydadforgetsme - 04/11/2015 17:26 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my dad forgot it's my birthday. When I told him about it, he accused me of lying and threatened to ground me for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 686

You deserved it 1 466

By Ya_I_said_it - 26/07/2016 15:31

Today, I've been so stressed out that I forgot my own birthday. I only remembered when my mom talked to me to let me know she wasn't planning on doing anything for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 611

You deserved it 1 507

Classic Mom

By secret - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Ashford

Today, I got a text from my mom shaming me for forgetting my sister's birthday. It isn't her birthday today, it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 425

You deserved it 2 300

Sorry dad

By janess - 09/03/2021 11:00

Today, I forgot my father’s birthday. My father means the world to me, I just have a shit memory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 407

This guy grudges

By PocketTrash - 20/03/2020 21:00

Today, my dad is still mad because I tossed his empty coffee can over 3 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 387

You deserved it 222

By Anonymous - 09/11/2013 22:30 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, I heard my dad complaining that he won't be able to go to a concert, because it's happening on my birthday. This is the first time he's even acknowledged my birthday in over ten years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 765

You deserved it 3 310

Lovely parents

By sigh - 18/11/2019 01:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my parents forgot it was my birthday. They ordered me to scrub the common bathroom, and when I asked if they remembered, my dad's reaction was "Oh! Really?" My mom's was "I thought that it was next week." What lovely parents I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 322

You deserved it 187

By Anon - 01/04/2015 06:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my brother mentioned my dad's birthday party. I said, "What party?" He said, "Shit, forgot I wasn't supposed to tell you." My own father doesn't want me at his party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 158

You deserved it 3 583

By MeanMother - 28/06/2012 20:29 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 962

You deserved it 91 201

By Anonymous - 01/07/2011 01:27 - United States

Today, my dad forgot me at cross country practice. When he got there two hours late, instead of apologizing, he said, "Hey, that's only the third time I've forgotten you at practice. You should be congratulating me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 750

You deserved it 2 815

Next

Top comments

mld4657 28

Wednesday 13 January 2016 1:29

Well im not your father but Happy Birthday!!!!

InfestedCarOwner 15

Wednesday 13 January 2016 1:35

Your dad sure is a special kind of asshole, huh?

Comments

Alup132 22

Wednesday 13 January 2016 2:04

My birthday was yesterday, cheers!

GhostFox 33

Wednesday 13 January 2016 2:32

Parents can really suck. Sorry that your dad is one of those parents. Happy survival anniversary, OP! You beat the odds and lived through another year!

NonScaryPumkin 22

Wednesday 13 January 2016 2:33

When it's his birthday get him nothing and say nothing so when get gets mad you can pull the same argument and see how he stupid he finds it.

andrmac 25

Wednesday 13 January 2016 3:08

Ah yes just become your father stoop to his level and become the asshole that he is cause that what we all want... Breaking free, breaking the cycle and rising above our parents crazy is truly the one thing that makes us better people to ourselves, each other and future generations.

NonScaryPumkin 22

Wednesday 13 January 2016 15:59

Just saying he should get a taste of his own medicine. OP should learn this for his/hers own kids in the future to not make the same mistake. You're taking a joke a much...

Vanessa_Leeann26 17

Wednesday 13 January 2016 2:43

Well damn. Hopefully my birthday goes better than yours tomorrow.

XxDanno316xX 27

Wednesday 13 January 2016 3:12

Happy birthday, tomorrow! :) or just happy birthday depending on your time zone. :))

GeorgiaBea 28

Wednesday 13 January 2016 2:51

And your mom is prolly just happy that you are both silent...

Arokthis 21

Wednesday 13 January 2016 3:44

I feel your pain, pal. I feel your pain.

morghandi 21

Wednesday 13 January 2016 3:49

I totally read dad as dog the first time and it made it much funnier. Sorry about your birthday, op!

wolf12king 12

Wednesday 13 January 2016 4:34

If he is that bad with remembering why the **** doesn't he put it down on a god damn calendar

sk8erd 15

Wednesday 13 January 2016 5:27

it would be shitty if someone forgot your birthday. but honestly, remind him in a friendly manner next time. Thats how I feel anyway

laden_swallow09 34

Wednesday 13 January 2016 5:58

Congratulations! So many years ago to this day, your mother shat you out of her ******!! Feel better now? It's just a birthday; there will be others.

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The Top

Today, I was at the hairdresser's getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 027

You deserved it 3 365

Today, I set aside a weekend to spend time with a friend. I learned that someone else is staying there: a fat, unemployed man-child who talks shit about us on Facebook, while his manipulative wife pays his bills. He got evicted from his last home when he pretended to be a ninja and cut up his neighbor's garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 73

The Top

Today, like an idiot, I accidentally included stuff I learned from snooping in my daughter's secret diary during a conversation with her. She's not happy at me right now, so I may have to polish off my old grovelling skills from when I was still married to her mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 2 392

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is terrified of me seeing her sex faces, so she violently squished my face between her boobs during sex. I then had a severe asthma attack because I couldn't breathe properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 179

You deserved it 291

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 715

You deserved it 5 865

Today, I was forced to listen to a client rant about her lackluster sexual encounters with her husband. I was also given a rather detailed description of his manhood. Apparently, it's small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 018

You deserved it 2 641

Today, I ordered flowers to be delivered to my workplace on Tuesday. To myself. For my birthday. Because even though birthdays are posted in the monthly newsletter, mine gets left out every year. For the past four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 948

You deserved it 1 093

Today, I realized I'm so lonely I would rather pretend I don't know I'm being cheated on than leave. We've been together a year and he's my virtual boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 900