Embarrassing, Poopoo peepee, Trains and Love: Powerful

Powerful

By Noguestlist - 02/03/2011 08:16

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 564

You deserved it 9 941

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Same thing different taste

By kstaa - 10/02/2010 11:47 - Australia

Today, I was sitting on the train wondering what that putrid smell was. As I got off the train I realized there was vomit all over the back of my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 159

You deserved it 4 531

NYC public transport

By Anonymous - 04/12/2020 17:02 - United States - New York

Today, there was a pretty girl sitting near me on the train home. I thought about asking for her number., but instead a drunk nitwit decided to wander around the car and came very close to touching her. She got up and moved to the other end, while I had to deal with a belligerent hobo who was now intent on fighting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 160

By fr1day - 21/01/2009 07:25 - Australia

Today, it's my birthday but I had to go to work. I catch the train and I am forced to sit next to this weird smelly dude who jumps off one stop before mine. A little old lady jumps on so I shuffle over so she can sit down with ease. Upon exiting the train i notice my pants are wet with smelly dude's piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 046

You deserved it 2 331

By WhatsThatSmell - 25/02/2011 13:25 - Australia

Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 831

You deserved it 4 511

By FailedTraveller - 04/07/2018 15:00

Today, I took a long distance train across country. Early on I had an urgent need to use the bathroom. As I went to flush away the nasty, the preflush water violently projected my diarrhoea onto my pants before clearing the rest down the gurgler. I have 8 hours left on the train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 646

You deserved it 356

By DonMare - 22/04/2009 07:48 - Australia

Today, as I caught the train home, a woman got on and sat on the only available seat next to me. We got talking and as the train approached the next station, she said that this was her stop and she had to go. She exited the train and I turn to see her enter the compartment behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 628

You deserved it 7 673

Stuck

By Anonymous - 21/04/2011 09:30 - Australia

Today, I was on train when an attractive girl got on. There were no free seats and seeing as how my stop was next, I gave her mine. As soon as I did, the train came to an immediate halt, due to "brake problems". I spent the next 40 minutes standing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 855

You deserved it 12 940

By Anonymous - 10/02/2011 23:32 - United States

Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 146

You deserved it 4 792

Ralph and Huey

By wookieewhosshe - 12/06/2022 15:00 - United Kingdom - Dalkeith

Today, I was on a train when I felt the unsettling urge to vomit. I ran to the toilet, but there was someone in there, with another waiting in the corridor. Out of time, and luck, I projectile-vomited into a bin built into the wall. The man waiting for the toilet looked truly traumatised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 85

By Emmy - 02/10/2011 06:36 - United States

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 365

You deserved it 3 361

Geoffrx7 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 16:06

maybe she's into scat ****

domosumo 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 16:07

Must've been one long train ride for you.

Comments

chrstygrl06 10

Wednesday 2 March 2011 22:25

Everyone poops. If she was genuinely interested then she'll give you another change:)

chrstygrl06 10

Wednesday 2 March 2011 22:27

chance*

sicofthsht 1

Wednesday 2 March 2011 23:15

Haha. Maybe she posted her own FML. Now that would really suck. Oh, and stop eating those TB barritos. LOL

ravenxcorvinus 9

Wednesday 2 March 2011 23:17

sounds like one of those "i-should've-done-a-courtesy-flush-and-wishes-i-had-a-book-of-matches" thing lolz

gasbandit 2

Thursday 3 March 2011 0:14

LIKE A BOSS

m0nk11 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 2:38

Yeah shit slap her like a boss.

Fluffy_homan 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 4:15

us south Africans don't even bother with trains anyway...

1_Classy_Hobo 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 4:24

lol. "hey... ummm... I left a surprise for you!" :D

Renee_Margaret 2

Thursday 3 March 2011 4:28

everyone chokes the ducks every now and then! it's part of life.

bsgirls 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 5:07

Ok listen up kids. You boys need to stop with these sexist jokes. No one finds you funny and I will report you.

bls5301 2

Monday 7 March 2011 11:53

hahahahahahahhahahahahhaha someone needs to relax a little bit. oh noooo report me? i'll just make another profile. now go back to the kitchen

MrFlintstone 5

Thursday 3 March 2011 5:26

I fell bad for op cause he used a public restroom

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 355

You deserved it 107 046

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 271

You deserved it 14 939

The Top

Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. I'm obsessive about cleanliness and neatness. They're candidates for a certain show about hoarders. I want to shower in bleach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 075

You deserved it 1 126

Today, while at work, I was driving a manual car for the third time ever. I managed to stall it and jolt forward, bumping the horn at the same time in front of a group of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 220

Today, my lunatic conspiracy theorist coworker started ranting about meat bans. I rolled my eyes, but he pulled up my city's website, where they said they wanted to "phase out" meat and dairy consumption by 2030. These nuts are supposed to be wrong! What the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 324

Today, my dad told me that people requiring psychiatric treatment are just weak and pathetic, and what they really need is a kick up the ass and to get a fucking grip. He told me this not 30 seconds after my doctor recommended I spend some time in a facility for my severe depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 139

Today, I was partnered with this really sexy guy for an audition. He says, "Am I really stuck with you? I can't even stand being seen with you in public!" I start cursing him out really loud, but then I realize that he's only reading the script. Everyone was staring, and he called me a crazy bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 186

You deserved it 71 372

Today, I'm 23, but my development was starved due to my overprotective parents. My peers never accepted me, even though I tried to find someone to be friends with. To this day, I've been told I come off as creepy by more women than I have fingers on my hands. I feel like a fifteen year-old walking around in a man's body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 131