Customers, Weird and Work: Paranoid

Paranoid

By MaddyN - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Forest Grove

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 034

You deserved it 3 520

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Bad hair day

By Tony - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 314

You deserved it 2 637

Meritocracy

By blue - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was put on notice at work due to my "anger problem." Apparently, sighing in a meeting means you'll be labeled as someone with a short temper. However, the creepy stalker guy is on the fast track to management. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 944

You deserved it 3 189

Welcome back

By pixie_pix13 - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I came back to work after being out for a week. As I walked to the back of the store, I threw my hands up and yelled, "I'm back bitches". Right after I said it, I noticed my boss was behind me. I was then taken to the office and wrote up for foul language on my first day back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 3 399

I'm confused

By confusedbagel - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 499

You deserved it 4 083

Running late

By SMV - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 243

You deserved it 6 076

Rewind time

By supersmashpika - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Hershey

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 663

You deserved it 9 980

Dogsbody

By tee - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Kansas City

Today, I was told it was inconvenient for me to take lunch breaks, because someone else has to answer the phones and no one else wants to actually do any work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 883

You deserved it 2 012

There was an attempt…

By JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Folsom

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 639

You deserved it 2 920

Stoner in disguise

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Rowlett

Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 429

You deserved it 2 920

Right back!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 400

You deserved it 908

CrikOgresmasher 19

Tuesday 8 July 2014 11:36

I once was accused of being a Nazi for the same reason

PiinkVanilla 15

Tuesday 8 July 2014 11:35

Next time, block the sun with your middle finger. That'll really impress! :D

Comments

BarrackOfObamas 8

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:13

Go up to the same guy who accused you and whisper to him " I'll be coming for ya homie"

ohSNAPyall 26

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:23

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign

ohSNAPyall 26

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:40

Blockin out the sunnery

Nilorak 24

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:13

Sure... ;)

MzZombicidal 36

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:18

Why would you ask that? Have you been watching me? Who are you?!

Liiiiiiiiike 15

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:34

WEESSSTTTTT SIIIIIIIIIYYYYYDDDEEEEE!

ohSNAPyall 26

Tuesday 8 July 2014 17:00

Sunset?

GentlemanBastard 15

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:38

Maybe you shouldn't have spelled "blood" with your hands to block the sun.

ohSNAPyall 26

Tuesday 8 July 2014 17:05

Wouldn't be good shades anyway. Too many holes in that sign.

Futacy 29

Tuesday 8 July 2014 16:20

The stupidity hurts me more than the sun does.

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 8 July 2014 17:05

Ignorant people assume anything they are not familiar with is subversive.

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 8 July 2014 17:13

Just use the full hand not a finger down...but it should be a small issue

ladybugz23 13

Tuesday 8 July 2014 17:48

wtf? really? thats stupid, find other job

Keywords

Work Management Jealousy Love Mental health Relationship advice Relatable Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Ironic Mother in law Gifts Money Birthday Family Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Argument AITA Fear Insects

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 205

You deserved it 6 457

Today, I was scrolling through a more risqué/dark/dirty humor Facebook page. I thoughtlessly set my phone down to help my cousin with a translation for about a minute. When I went to grab my phone, I saw, front and center, a photo edit of Chewbacca with his "lipstick" out. No wonder she kept glancing down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 420

The Top

Today, I celebrated my 22nd birthday. On my cake stood last year's "21" candle, to which had been added a single candle. Clearly, times are tough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 019

You deserved it 6 774

Today, my daughter is engaged to her soon-to-be fifth husband. She's 32 and refuses to believe she's the problem in relationships, and she wants me to pay for this wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 984

You deserved it 184

Today, it turns out the beautiful, "organic" artisanal soap my boyfriend gave me actually came from the 99 cents store. He just wrapped it in some cellophane and gave it to me. I’m currently itching to death from the godawful rash and hives it gave me. I may need to go to the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 976

You deserved it 247

Today, I found out that my partner doesn't ever want sex from me again. I'm too broke to leave her, so I guess my sex life is over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 216

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my family for the first time. Everyone quickly pointed out how my girlfriend looks very much like my cousin. My girlfriend even agrees. That’s not what I was going off of when I first met her but now I’m having a hard time un-seeing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 97

Today, I found out why you shouldn't drop instant mashed potatoes in a fish tank, especially when you have expensive fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 202

You deserved it 45 069

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments