Intimacy: Oh, hai Mark - FML

Oh, hai Mark

By grossuncle - 25/02/2010 17:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was bored at work looking at a sex offender list of my area. After a couple of pages, I saw my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 228

You deserved it 2 859

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Same thing different taste

I thought I'd seen you somewhere before…

By Anonymous - 07/07/2022 04:00

Spicy

Today, I learned that my boss is a pedophile. He knows that I know. This is because he saw me looking at him… on the sex offender registry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 347

You deserved it 153

Just a movie

By IzzMeister - 15/12/2019 20:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my uncle watching porn. I realized that it was porn featuring my boyfriend, and he told me that the girl in it was "just a friend". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 018

You deserved it 195

By Anonymous - 22/07/2015 11:52 - United States - Garland

Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 977

You deserved it 3 620

By shocked1 - 07/01/2009 15:22 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was doing a local search at SexSearch.com and I found my sister's profile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 769

You deserved it 11 037

By MyHeadHurts - 20/01/2012 10:42 - Ireland

Spicy

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 205

You deserved it 39 600

By charlieg9 - 30/08/2013 12:33 - United States - East Meadow

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 267

You deserved it 15 859

By tftm - 05/01/2013 05:37 - United States - Elmhurst

Spicy

Today, my uncle keeps spamming me on Facebook with friend suggestions. Most of them are people he met on porn sites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 388

You deserved it 2 132

By failingdaily - 20/09/2014 02:27 - New Zealand - Paraparaumu

Spicy

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 019

You deserved it 4 020

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 19/07/2020 23:00

Spicy

Today, I found out my sister-in-law cheated on her husband. I also found out my uncle cheated on my aunt with my sister-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 125

By Anonymous - 31/07/2009 00:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided to check my email on our family computer. Since my dad's account was already logged on, I chose to use his instead of logging on my own. When opening up a new page and seeing his recently viewed sites, I learned that he loves to watch porn. I also learned he has a foot fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 548

You deserved it 19 430

Next

Top comments

EricJ 3

Thursday 25 February 2010 23:13

People can get on the list who didn't do anything wrong. Maybe he pulled down his pants to pee in a lake and got convicted of indecent exposure. Find out what happened.

n1rvanat1zed 0

Thursday 25 February 2010 23:09

Uncool.

Comments

AReasonToBitch 0

Friday 23 April 2010 6:02

uh, wow. awk-warrd.

oxoashleeoxo 6

Friday 23 July 2010 15:15

Ha .. I bet you're super excited for the next family reunion.

MissMaryContrary 3

Tuesday 17 August 2010 19:57

I just went through the sex offenders list to see how many of them have facebooks. Quite a few, as it turns out. Now I know their names and what they look like :)

xXEmzzXx 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 5:40

That will be an interesting conversation with the family.

XxTooCoolxX 0

Monday 5 March 2012 21:17

Shhhhhhhhhhhh..... O.o

marissat_smiley 7

Wednesday 8 May 2013 7:38

That ***** intensep

ribread 2

Wednesday 29 January 2014 22:44

"Uncle"

fantasyworld 37

Friday 27 March 2015 2:59

There are people on that list who got caught peeing in an alley or bush. It could be he was 18 and dating a 17 or 16 year old, her parents called the cops on him.

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 698

You deserved it 9 549

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636 657

You deserved it 798 177

The Top

Today, I made Salt Water Taffy for the first time, misread the recipe, and put 1.5 cups of salt instead of the 1.5 teaspoons it called for. Needless to say it's inedible and I had to throw it away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 666

Today, My mom walked in on me and my 2 year crush about to have sex. When she saw us she said "oh I'll just wait outside, I know it wont be long anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 050

You deserved it 8 315

Today, I missed my bus to school, so I took my bike. The bus that I missed ignored a stop sign on its way back, making me crash into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 108

Today, I found out the hard way that it is possible to sunburn the soles of your feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 249

You deserved it 5 026

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 502

You deserved it 6 584

Today, my family was leaving for a weekend trip and was supposed to pick me up on the way down. About an hour before they are supposed to arrive, my mom calls to tell me that there's no room left in the car, so they won't be stopping to get me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 722

You deserved it 2 328