Hopeless

By Anonymous - 18/11/2019 20:00

Spicy
Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, then, my wife told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks 5 242
You deserved it 339
Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

manb91gb 15

Well I hope her baby shower gift from you is divorce papers

48 0
bl3ur0z3 17

On the one hand, she did increase the odds of conception. On the other hand, that better have been the best dinner she ever made.

24 1

Comments

bl3ur0z3 17

On the one hand, she did increase the odds of conception. On the other hand, that better have been the best dinner she ever made.

24 1
manb91gb 15

Well I hope her baby shower gift from you is divorce papers

48 0
Iamthebanzai22 20

Well, she clearly does not give a rusty **** about your feelings and she hasn't for a long time. DItch the bitch. Get a paternity test done before you agree to pay child support.

23 0
Huldan MeGroyn 13

Hopefully he doesn't live in a state that makes him pay child support regardless of whether or not it was his

4 0
TCRII 29

Hey mom and dad, great news. There is a 16.66% change that I am going to be a father and an 83.34% chance that I am going to get a divorce and not have to pay any alimony.

22 0
tounces7 27

100% chance of Divorce regardless.

6 0
RichardPencil 30

Tell her you'd like anything that's not sausage, and she should wash her hands thoroughly before making any food.

5 1
RichardPencil 30

And when she was telling you she was having Five Guys, you thought she was just getting a hamburger. Poor schmuck.

12 0
cardin06 15

There is more to this story then you are telling us...

5 0
Matthew Irmen 11

I could be wrong, but there could be a message in this.

2 0