Alcohol, Drunk and Roommate: Gratitude

Gratitude

By fuckmylife - 28/04/2009 08:45 - United States

Today, I decided to be the sober housemate for the first time in a while. I drove my drunk friends to the bar and back, even buying them pizza before they passed out in the living room. I got repaid by catching my wasted housemate in my room, peeing all over my floor, bed, and nightstand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 351

You deserved it 8 365

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Same thing different taste

By pukeytimes - 10/04/2015 23:03 - Australia - Leichhardt

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 837

You deserved it 2 252

By Anonymous - 16/07/2009 01:53 - United States

Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 416

You deserved it 6 081

By good friend - 27/12/2013 06:35 - United States - Missoula

Today, my friends and I had our Christmas party. I ended up being the only one sober, and had to drive each and every person home. There were 15 of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 523

You deserved it 5 815

Party hard

By Coldflame - 06/03/2010 15:22 - United States

Today, I was designated driver for my friends. This entailed standing around in the cold for 3 hours, not drinking, dealing with drunk people, and oh yeah, I almost forgot, cleaning up vomit from my hair, my clothes, and my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 128

You deserved it 7 519

Partaaaaay!

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 18:16 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 124

You deserved it 46 967

By Anonymous - 14/05/2015 02:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 256

You deserved it 36 922

By scheisse - 14/07/2013 21:25 - Germany - Herne

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 318

You deserved it 67 507

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 627

You deserved it 34 413

Oh what a night

By EmployeeOfTheMonth - 09/06/2013 23:33 - United States - Montpelier

Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 458

You deserved it 9 130

By Anonymous - 25/08/2011 06:49 - United States

Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 134

You deserved it 3 486

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 28 April 2009 16:04

Pay him back by ******** on his face when he passes out. Or just his bed. Your call.. Personally if someone did that to me I would go shit on his clothes, bed and toothbrush! And when I ran out of shit I would start pissing... and when I ran out of piss I would start wanking over his stuff.

Whisp3r 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 16:04

Damn man I know just what you mean. I've been through it before. That's why I'm never DD anymore LOL

Comments

painfuldiodes 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 19:10

what were you expecting? You knew they were going to get wasted. These things are liable to happen.

MissNae 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 19:10

I'm terrified of all the people here saying to expect things like this when you drink. I drink, frequently to excess, as do my friends and I can honestly say we have never used a bedroom as a toilet! To the OP hire a cleaner and make your "friend" pay for it.

AnneFTW 17

Tuesday 28 April 2009 19:19

Ahahaha that sucks. But how do you know you're not just as bad when you're drunk? XD

satanicminnow1 1

Tuesday 28 April 2009 19:46

How about just don't drink?

Rainbow_Monkey 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 19:50

Karma's a bitch.

Kitty34_fml 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:05

It's nice that you drove them. But why would you buy them pizza?

yer_maw 1

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:25

Next time make him stay sober and piss all over his stuff #32 - exactly mate

shmaller 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:59

Move.

kellster 2

Tuesday 28 April 2009 21:34

You and your housemates sound like you deserve each other. Have you done shit like this to them before, if it was your first time not being the drunkest asshole in the bunch??