Sex, Cars and Intimacy: Cramped

Cramped

By chelse_elyce - 21/01/2015 04:10 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 824

You deserved it 13 360

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/05/2015 16:46 - United Kingdom - Loughton

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 815

You deserved it 3 838

It's just a flesh wound!

By manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 137

You deserved it 4 018

Life imitates bad art

By sex sent me to the Er - 15/10/2019 14:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 2 118

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 22:00 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 946

You deserved it 6 529

By Clumsy Clumsy - 16/04/2016 16:27 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 482

You deserved it 3 242

Alexa, play "Let's Get it On" by Marvin Gaye

By notsosexy - 18/07/2020 08:01

Today, I attempted to have amazing birthday sex with my boyfriend in his dorm room. Everything was going great until we tried switching positions. I hit my head so hard on the bunk above his bed that I gave myself a concussion, and blacked out. Needless to say, the moment was ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 764

You deserved it 333

By dinosaur - 10/01/2011 10:35 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 215

You deserved it 3 204

By neckcrack - 07/09/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 206

You deserved it 24 077

By Ouch - 25/04/2011 19:31 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 740

You deserved it 20 684

By WellOops - 18/07/2018 05:00

Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 663

You deserved it 9 640

False_Stupidity 41

Wednesday 21 January 2015 16:11

Just explain that you were extra... horny! Also, you must be a real knockout, or your boyfriend is anyhow...

nikkipettyfer 24

Wednesday 21 January 2015 16:07

I'm sure you'll laugh about it later, OP!

Comments

joeblow6969 5

Wednesday 21 January 2015 18:19

Rookies.

danielhartlesss 13

Wednesday 21 January 2015 18:24

This is what backseats are for!

giantsfan2010 23

Wednesday 21 January 2015 18:36

Tinted windows are a must for car sex

chelse_elyce 11

Thursday 22 January 2015 7:52

They are tinted thank god lol

dcats 13

Wednesday 21 January 2015 18:56

Was the car moving?

chelse_elyce 11

Thursday 22 January 2015 7:44

It was in park lol

Goblin182 26

Wednesday 21 January 2015 18:56

I has many happy endings to sex in a car.

hugozac88 22

Wednesday 21 January 2015 18:58

Just add it to the list of sex injuries

j_cat187 19

Wednesday 21 January 2015 19:43

well at least you didn't break the windshield.

vikky538 28

Wednesday 21 January 2015 19:43

that's why back seat is always better...

A7XCamaro 19

Wednesday 21 January 2015 19:47

Question is, why did they use the driver seat?

ErinPinelli 24

Wednesday 21 January 2015 19:51

They've got high sex drive.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to a fancy restaurant. I was coming right from work and brought a change of clothes with me. I parked in an empty corner of the parking lot to change. As I was pulling my pants up, I noticed that I was facing an apartment complex where an old guy was watching me from his balcony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 271

You deserved it 19 596

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 653

You deserved it 4 934

The Top

Today, my fiancé/son’s father’s death anniversary is in a few days. I asked my closest friends if they’d hang with me so I could try and keep my mind off it, and so I wouldn’t be alone (my son will be with fiancé’s parents). They couldn’t be bothered and want to go away for the weekend instead. Without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 223

You deserved it 136

Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 185

You deserved it 5 083

Today, I allowed my friend to talk me into going on a date. The guy's truck smelled like formaldehyde - I'm assuming from the snake that he apparently tried to turn into a necklace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 064

You deserved it 3 184

Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 689

You deserved it 8 459

Today, despite warning my boss that it’s dangerous and stupid, he still insisted I get on with putting up a 4-storey tall scaffolding in high winds, and when it blew over, he blamed me for not putting it together correctly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 87

Today, I had a snowball fight with a friend. In the midst of the game, I stole her hat and put it on my head, ignoring her pleas. Apparently, she was trying to say she had head lice. I can now verify that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 627

You deserved it 43 620