Intimacy: Caught - FML

Caught

By Anonymous - 14/10/2011 16:30 - Reserved

Spicy

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 592

You deserved it 3 406

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/12/2015 03:55 - United States - Portland

Today, at college, I walked in on some kid jerking off in front of the bathroom sink. This place never ceases to amaze and disgust me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 359

You deserved it 1 711

Not funny anymore

By Anonymous - 29/11/2019 00:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, at work, the security threw out an old man in his 80s who had been caught masturbating while hiding in the ladies' changing room. I thought it was funny until my manager told me to clean up that very same changing room with the old man spunk all over the wall and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 237

You deserved it 1 836

By Anonymous - 06/09/2016 13:36 - Estonia - Tartu

Today, at the hardware store, I had to physically restrain my senile grandpa from trying to take a crap in one of the display toilets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 396

You deserved it 971

By OhGodWhy - 29/12/2016 23:30 - United States - Indianapolis

Spicy

Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 739

You deserved it 874

By iwantaraise - 14/10/2015 01:55 - Australia

Spicy

Today, while on the job as a cop, I was breaking up a loud house party. We were just doing one final check of the house, we walked into the bathroom to find a kid furiously wanking in the bath. This isn't the first time I've seen something like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 355

You deserved it 3 071

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 03:19 - United States - Roanoke

Spicy

Today, I walked in on the 13 year-old boy I babysit masturbating while sniffing my jacket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 311

You deserved it 2 504

Oh, hai Mark!

By scarredforlife - 12/02/2016 09:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Spicy

Today, I experienced one of those moments in life you never forget. I walked into a homeless man masturbating in a parking garage stairwell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 380

You deserved it 1 830

By sadfantasy - 31/03/2016 06:00 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 995

You deserved it 1 633

Wanker

By fired - 09/08/2013 22:17

Spicy

Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 231

You deserved it 7 477

By lindsaykay - 18/04/2012 00:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 152

You deserved it 4 116

Next

Top comments

ILoveEggnog 7

Friday 14 October 2011 21:27

I always do it in the model kitchens.

techweed 12

Friday 14 October 2011 21:27

They may be a lot of no smoking signs, but there ain't no no masturbating signs. Happy Fingers!!!

Comments

kemando 22

Saturday 15 October 2011 12:17

Hmmm must have been a nice model.

FFUU 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 16:30

*fap fap fap* LOL. You won't be able to once the Masturbation Proclamation is signed and passed!

xxxsupermedicxxx 3

Saturday 15 October 2011 17:50

You didn't take him by the hand did you?

Jesse_D83 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 18:40

What a dumb ass. Everyone knows the best place to beat it in home depot is the staff break room because once you finish you can get a cup of coffee and pastry to go.

gruvychild 17

Saturday 15 October 2011 23:02

You could've had cleanup duty!

il3160 2

Sunday 16 October 2011 3:27

clean up on isle 1

Calyx_fml 21

Sunday 16 October 2011 21:04

Get him a tug toner.

betterbiteme 0

Monday 17 October 2011 4:33

Look how would he had know if he wanted to buy it jokes on you . Lost sale

evilteddybear 0

Monday 17 October 2011 5:00

Help him out!

sxdryv 14

Monday 17 October 2011 18:45

That's one of the most serious and psychological presence indicative of a serial rapist/murderer. I hope he was reported and evaluated by a shrink. No joke!!

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The Top

Today, my wife has moved into the guest room and has been giving me the cold shoulder ever since I asked for a paternity test for our kids. She swears she’s never cheated, so what’s she so offended for? Women make no sense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 1 503

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 205

You deserved it 6 457

The Top

Today, after spending $850 on having our siding, roof and windows powerwashed, a 5-minute storm blew the siding clear off the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 650

You deserved it 1 099

Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 200

You deserved it 3 854

Today, while eating dinner, my girlfriend looked at me, smiled and said, "I can't tell if this is love or Stockholm Syndrome, but either way I'm happy." I'm not sure what to make of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 491

You deserved it 199

Today, I had to offer my boyfriend a no-hard-feelings opportunity to just leave. He never wanted to be a dad, but since we accidentally got pregnant and had our son, I’ve watched his mental health go downhill so fast I was afraid he’d kill himself if he kept forcing himself to stay with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 376

You deserved it 189

Today, one of my customer's pipes were blocked. As I went to unblock it, about a handful of used condoms collided with my face. I don't know if I should be disgusted by this or disgusted by my customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 228

You deserved it 4 763

Today, it’s 3 a.m. and my cat is shredding the padded door of her box, wanting to get out. I would be sympathetic if not for the fact that she has a perfectly good cat flap on the other side of that box, so she can go outside whenever she wants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 137