Intimacy: Caught

Caught

By Anonymous - 14/10/2011 16:30 - Reserved

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 592

You deserved it 3 406

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/12/2015 03:55 - United States - Portland

Today, at college, I walked in on some kid jerking off in front of the bathroom sink. This place never ceases to amaze and disgust me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 359

You deserved it 1 711

Not funny anymore

By Anonymous - 29/11/2019 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, the security threw out an old man in his 80s who had been caught masturbating while hiding in the ladies' changing room. I thought it was funny until my manager told me to clean up that very same changing room with the old man spunk all over the wall and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 237

You deserved it 1 836

By Anonymous - 06/09/2016 13:36 - Estonia - Tartu

Today, at the hardware store, I had to physically restrain my senile grandpa from trying to take a crap in one of the display toilets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 396

You deserved it 971

By OhGodWhy - 29/12/2016 23:30 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 739

You deserved it 874

By iwantaraise - 14/10/2015 01:55 - Australia

Today, while on the job as a cop, I was breaking up a loud house party. We were just doing one final check of the house, we walked into the bathroom to find a kid furiously wanking in the bath. This isn't the first time I've seen something like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 355

You deserved it 3 071

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 03:19 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I walked in on the 13 year-old boy I babysit masturbating while sniffing my jacket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 311

You deserved it 2 504

Oh, hai Mark!

By scarredforlife - 12/02/2016 09:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, I experienced one of those moments in life you never forget. I walked into a homeless man masturbating in a parking garage stairwell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 380

You deserved it 1 830

By sadfantasy - 31/03/2016 06:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 995

You deserved it 1 633

Wanker

By fired - 09/08/2013 22:17

Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 231

You deserved it 7 477

By lindsaykay - 18/04/2012 00:07 - United States

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 152

You deserved it 4 116

ILoveEggnog 7

Friday 14 October 2011 21:27

I always do it in the model kitchens.

techweed 12

Friday 14 October 2011 21:27

They may be a lot of no smoking signs, but there ain't no no masturbating signs. Happy Fingers!!!

Comments

JinxosGirl87 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 3:36

My what nice knobs that door has...*fap fap*

kaitrae 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 4:17

I don't get how your life would suck if that happened.

Jewdazking23 5

Saturday 15 October 2011 4:26

Why do u work at the home depot??

gurly98 13

Saturday 15 October 2011 4:47

Comon it says NO SMOKING not NO MASTURBATING

paradiseisland01 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 5:00

How nice is that ?

xSpaz182x 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 5:02

You didn't finish him off? How rude!

hateevryone 14

Saturday 15 October 2011 5:28

you should have made a scene so everybody can know what his nasty ass done

Drewken 1

Saturday 15 October 2011 5:35

I do that everyday!

lollipop77_fml 6

Saturday 15 October 2011 5:39

Trying before buying? Making sure he felt at home with those particular fixtures?

maddiester 5

Saturday 15 October 2011 5:41

did you let the poor guy finish?

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The Top

Today, my parents met my fiancée's parents for the first time in a large family gathering two weeks before our formal wedding. Both sets of parents were telling funny stories about our pasts. My dad's story won. He told how I spent a week in jail earlier this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 128

You deserved it 1 010

Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry, and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying, "My body, my rules." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 552

You deserved it 4 754

The Top

Today, I realized my cat has a foot fetish. She keeps randomly flopping over on my feet while I'm walking, and will lick my toes if I am barefooted. I have absolutely no idea where this came from, but it makes me super uncomfortable. Even my other cat looks at her like she's gone insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 157

Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 778

You deserved it 18 116

Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 848

You deserved it 4 010

Today, my son, who has ASD, told a woman how gigantic her butt was. While trying to remind him that some things are not nice to say, he screamed that her butt is the "giantest butt ever," like it was an accomplishment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 709

You deserved it 195

Today, British Telecom disconnected my landline by mistake. Their call centre in India tried to reach me. Result, they spoke to an unknown gentleman, who told them he didn't need a phone line at my address. Reconnection in 2 business days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 614

You deserved it 2 268

Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 173