Dogs, Food and Miscellaneous: Bon appetit

Bon appetit

By Dani - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I woke up feeling awful and decided to make myself a nice egg omelette with bacon, toast and fresh fruit. As I went to eat it, I stubbed my toe and dropped it all on the floor. My dogs were very happy about that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 048

You deserved it 3 482

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

irwingiggles 26

Saturday 6 December 2014 12:42

at least you could make them happy

Duh_0811 17

Saturday 6 December 2014 12:45

At least your dogs were kind enough to clean it up for you.

Comments

mrmcleod 29

Monday 8 December 2014 17:24

Is there any other kind of omelet?

fazerfazer 4

Wednesday 10 December 2014 13:59

alexh55 8

Thursday 12 February 2015 20:17

The dogs were satisfied

spinningrecords 14

Monday 30 January 2023 15:08

You deserve it for calling folded over scrambled eggs an egg omelette, but you did the right thing by letting your dog enjoy it.

Keywords

Art Kids Covid Health Birthday Relatable Transportation Awkward Cars Love Poopoo peepee Gross Family Neighbours Sex Intimacy Lonely Dreams Management Work Jealousy Mental health Relationship advice Miscellaneous Friends Abuse Parents Healthy Lifestyle Food Ironic

The Top

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 877

You deserved it 5 658

Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 232

You deserved it 220

The Top

Today, I went to the pub to have a drink and feel better. I had a chat with an old drunk Irishman and he told me that he reads people and he is very certain that I’m a sad person. I am indeed a sad person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 127

Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 329

You deserved it 4 535

Today, I bought a fake "wedding ring" at Target to play a prank on my parents. They kicked me out, saying my "fiancé" can take care of me now. There is no fiancé, and I just lost my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 113

You deserved it 43 055

Today, I am 10 years clean from an opiate addiction. It’s also been 10 years since I began suffering from severe restless legs syndrome, to the point I cry from frustration and sleep deprivation almost every night. I’ve tried several medications, they don’t help. A recent injury has made me realize opiates do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 114

Today, I was incredibly bored during a long bus journey, so I played chess against my e-book reader. On the lowest difficulty. I lost 27 times in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 430

You deserved it 945

Today, my plan to punish my husband by leaving him for a week completely failed. When I got home from the hotel, he had his buddies over happily watching football, but his face fell when I walked in, like I’d ruined his day by coming home. I don’t think my marriage can be saved at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 1 457