Roommate, Pranks and Health: Boiling point

Boiling point

By sharky - 05/10/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, I have a massive headache, thanks to my asshat of a roommate, who decided to balance our tea kettle on the top of the kitchen door. When I stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake, it came smashing down onto my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 098

You deserved it 2 040

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/05/2012 21:54 - United States - Spring

Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 326

You deserved it 2 191

By Monique - 10/04/2011 06:50 - United States

Today, my head has been killing me. I've had the worst headache ever. Happy that I could finally sleep, I plopped onto my bed and bashed my head on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 105

You deserved it 10 787

By hedayk - 15/05/2015 20:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 270

You deserved it 12 018

Things hate me

By WaychulMonster - 25/10/2022 10:00

Today, while trying to relax because I'm sick and I feel like crap, the shower head attachment fell and hit me on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 89

Make it stop!

By DBR - 23/04/2009 10:45 - United States

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 893

You deserved it 11 465

By bcoper - 20/02/2010 14:03 - United States

Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 384

You deserved it 3 269

Headshot

By home owner - 20/08/2010 06:14 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head, while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water, but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 720

You deserved it 3 363

Slippery when wet

By anonymous - 03/01/2017 01:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 722

You deserved it 1 843

By Anonymous - 28/09/2016 13:08 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 261

You deserved it 2 498

By vee2013 - 26/04/2014 04:22 - Canada - London

Today, I finally decided to do something productive and clean my room. When I went to pick up the first thing off my floor, I hit my head on my desk and gave myself a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 202

You deserved it 6 928

Nightwing98 22

Saturday 6 October 2012 3:09

Wait doesn't everybody keep their tea kettle there?

IOmnomHard 10

Saturday 6 October 2012 3:10

That's when he gets a frying pan to the balls when he's sleeping.

Comments

toughchick14 15

Saturday 6 October 2012 3:28

Ouch!!!

loserboii 11

Saturday 6 October 2012 3:29

Know*

loserboii 11

Saturday 6 October 2012 3:36

That headache seems like it might have turned to a migraine.

kimg0885 23

Saturday 6 October 2012 3:37

Tell him: "pot meet kettle!" Then smash him on the head with the pot!

sugarshane007 20

Saturday 6 October 2012 4:17

Best suggestion I've seen yet!

mikepzz 27

Saturday 6 October 2012 3:38

your roommate's a dick who doesn't know how to pull of a proper prank.. teabag him in return

williamcarter93 13

Saturday 6 October 2012 4:23

You want OP to suck his roommate's balls?

nonnieluv 9

Saturday 6 October 2012 5:18

47- no he wants the roommate to suck OP's balls

teresee 8

Saturday 6 October 2012 3:52

Classic.

Warden1986 16

Saturday 6 October 2012 3:52

Yes, I recall that too. However that was a food not cast iron.

hmmmmml 0

Saturday 6 October 2012 4:14

I like eggs.

traveler_ghost 12

Saturday 6 October 2012 4:21

or worse...it could of had hot tea in it then you would have severe Burns and a headache

daliagrande 17

Saturday 6 October 2012 4:26

Your roommate is an idiot.

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The Top

Today, I volunteered to babysit my niece. How hard can it be to entertain a toddler for a few hours? Turns out, very hard. Within minutes, she'd turned the living room into a war zone, with crayon graffiti and a trail of sticky handprints leading to who knows where. By the time her parents got back, I was ready to sign up for a lifetime supply of earplugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 367

Today, while fighting unemployment and an visible abscess on my neck, I was cajoled into attending my Mom's birthday party. I spent the entire time at the restaurant trying to hide an oozing sore with a bandage, eating partially edible food. The cost? $40 I can't afford to spend on food not worth $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 102

The Top

Today, as I was driving out of a parking lot, some douchebag yelled at me: "Nice car! Too bad you're so ugly!" It was my friend's car, so I don't even have that going for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 566

You deserved it 3 222

Today, I asked my little cousin if he had a girlfriend if he had a girlfriend. “Yes,“ he said. “Two, but I’m going to keep the one with the biggest boobs.“ He’s 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 321

You deserved it 1 544

Today, my new doctor asked if I'm sexually active. I said no. He nodded and murmured "No surprise there." Thanks, mate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 483

You deserved it 2 714

Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 241

Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get too excited, I want to watch The Princess and the Frog tonight." I just got cockblocked by a Disney movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 774

You deserved it 7 372

Today, the company I applied for called up congratulating me in getting the job. I was ecstatic. Quickly enough I texted a few mates that I'd got the job. Twenty minutes later they called again, saying the trainee had accidentally called the wrong applicant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 565

You deserved it 2 976