Bananarama By wtfisthisworldcomingto - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 863 You deserved it 7 476 Share Tweet Share
Today, I have accidentally encountered my parents having "sexy time" four times in the past week. I'm an adult. My parents are in their fifties. Their bedroom door doesn't fully shut, so I always get an unpleasant glimpse when I walk past, occasionally punctuated by my mom's pleasured moaning. Kill me now. FML I agree, your life sucks 925 You deserved it 610
Today, while fighting unemployment and an visible abscess on my neck, I was cajoled into attending my Mom's birthday party. I spent the entire time at the restaurant trying to hide an oozing sore with a bandage, eating partially edible food. The cost? $40 I can't afford to spend on food not worth $5. FML I agree, your life sucks 407 You deserved it 107
Today, I was working at a retirement center, when an old woman came to me and asked if I would like her old clothes. I politely said, "I'm sorry, but I'm a guy." She then said, "You could have just said no, instead of rudely lying to me." FML I agree, your life sucks 39 834 You deserved it 4 498
Today, I was literally startled by my own shadow. I hate having anxiety. FML I agree, your life sucks 522 You deserved it 139
Today, my husband was kind enough to hold my hair back while I was going down on him, but didn't have the thought to comfort me this morning while I suffered the effects of morning sickness. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 434 You deserved it 5 568
Today, I got a complaint that I'm not performing as usual at my work. That's when I realised it was because I now prioritise my sleep and life over staying awake late at night to learn from the offshore team. I used to work during the ungodly hours of 2am to 7am daily and was then a zombie for the whole day. FML I agree, your life sucks 763 You deserved it 105
Today, my uncle was showing the scars he got fighting a wolf in defence of his wife. On the drive home, my girlfriend dumped me because she could never see me being man enough to fight a wolf for her. She made me stop the car so she could catch a bus back to her mom's house and never see me again. FML I agree, your life sucks 635 You deserved it 127
Today, my brother thought jumping out and punching me in the stomach would cure my hiccups. Yeah. Didn't work. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 430 You deserved it 3 267
did he stab you with the banana?
That's important information. Tell the cops to search for banana breath.