Food, Cooking and Miscellaneous: Added flavor

Added flavor

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Omaha

Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 393

You deserved it 3 013

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Top comments

InfernoVivo 12

Wednesday 28 August 2013 9:59

What a... I'm not going to go there

noreallywhat 17

Wednesday 28 August 2013 10:00

this needs follow up.

Comments

dragoongirl90 34

Wednesday 22 June 2016 0:43

EEEEEWWWWW!!!!!!

Keywords

Work Management Awkward Friends Miscellaneous Healthy Lifestyle Relatable Health Mother in law Gifts Birthday Family Money Education Parents Public freakouts Pranks Students Exams Weird Love Argument AITA Fear Insects Skincare Cats Job interview Jealousy Gross

The Top

Today, I realized my breasts look like sweat socks and my ass is sagging so much, it slaps the back of my legs. My neck has grown three chins, and I have put on 40 lbs. Yes, the golden years are here at last, and they can certainly kiss my ass. Happy 50th to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 382

You deserved it 494

Today, I found out you can’t lie about having a Master’s Degree in order to get a job. I paid a friend $500 to make a very real looking Master’s diploma from an accredited school. My plan worked well, until they asked me for my official transcripts. Meaning it has to come from the institution directly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 1 284

The Top

Today, at my hotel, I spent over an hour dumpster diving trying to locate a pair of shorts for a spoiled brat that one of the cleaning staff accidentally threw away. When I finally found and returned them to the family, the father insisted they weren't the right ones. Spent all day smelling of trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 374

You deserved it 1 125

Today, I realized that my YouTube watch history, which is mostly comprised of audio ASMRs dealing with loneliness and other anxiety and depression issues, has turned into one big testament to how utterly lonely I am in the real world, and that I probably will remain like this for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 1 004

Today, my mom got drunk at our family reunion and told everyone how worried she is that my "excessive masturbation" would damage the nerves in both my dick and arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 920

You deserved it 8 778

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 190

You deserved it 3 005

Today, my dad vehemently refused to let me go on vacation to France with my best friend, because he watched Taken a few months ago and apparently forgot that it's just a movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 675

You deserved it 4 637

Today, it’s official, 2016 was the most catastrophic year for me, sexually, having had sex a total of zero times. It wouldn’t be so bad if I hadn’t been married for 6 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 97