Animals: Today, after spending more time than it was worth trying to get...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By happypenguins - 26/04/2016 04:57 - Canada

Today, after spending more time than it was worth trying to get my dog to come down stairs with me, he finally, happily went down the stairs and ran into my sisters room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 3

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Teenagers Friends Love Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Work Revenge Awkward Parents Relatable Weird Miscellaneous Health Job interview Facebook Social Media Jealousy Relationship advice AITA Kids Shoes Annoying Roommate Music Names Customers Education Capitalism

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Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 337

You deserved it 15 970

Today, I love my husband to death and want sex all the time, meanwhile he claims he loves me too but constantly turns down sex and has even managed to negotiate a promise that I won’t ask for sex on special occasions like his birthday. What am I doing wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 889

You deserved it 341

The Top

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball… right into her face again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 088

You deserved it 31 371

Today, I woke up to see my four year-old brother with a sharpie, trying to play “Connect the Dots” with my acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 494

You deserved it 145

Today, a guest at the hotel I work at started shouting at me. Apparently the street vendor selling sunglasses outside the hotel sold her a pair of 'genuine' Ray Bans for $5. She wanted me to phone the police because she realized two days later they were fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 282

You deserved it 1 827

Today, my husband put up one of those sticky fly trap strips behind our toilet. I was tired and didn't notice it in the dark bathroom. I leaned back and it stuck in my hair. I didn't notice the dead flies in my hair until I went to buy lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 728

You deserved it 242

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a massive argument. I suggested we have a movie night. He suggested an all day/night Star Wars marathon. I’d be OK, if it wasn’t for the fact that we’ve done that at least five times in the last two months. He says I’m the one being unfair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 960

You deserved it 213

Today, I failed a basic intelligence test when the mouse trap I was setting up snapped on my thumb. Later, when I checked the trap I saw that the mouse had managed to lick all the bait off the trap without being caught, I have a sore thumb and was outsmarted by a rodent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 292

You deserved it 14 154